For the legal eagles out there who requested it–all two of you–we present the cease-and-desist letter we received this morning regarding our six-day-old post containing an MP3 of the Killers’ song “This River Is Wild.” The letter was sent to us by the Globix Corporation, which is not be confused with Globex Corporation, the bent-on-destruction multinational conglomerate led by evil mastermind Hank Scorpio. Though we think they all have the same standard-issue flame-throwers.
After the click-through, a document that will forever squash your dreams of having a fun, sexy life as a copyright lawyer.
03 October 2006
Globix Corporation
Abuse Contact
Legal Department
139 Centre Street
10013 New York
Unted States
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am contacting you on behalf of the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) and its member record companies. The IFPI is a trade association whose member companies are some 1,450 major and independent record companies in the US and internationally who create, manufacture and distribute sound recordings. Under penalty of perjury, we submit that the IFPI is authorized to act on behalf of its member companies in matters involving the infringement of their sound recordings, including enforcing their copyrights and common law rights on the Internet.
We have learned that your service is hosting infringing files on its network. These files contain sound recordings by the artist known as The Killers. These sound recordings are owned by one of our member companies and have not been authorized for this kind of use. We have a good faith belief that the above-described activity is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law. We assert that the information in this notification is accurate, based upon the data available to us.
We are asking for your immediate assistance in stopping this unauthorized activity. Specifically, we request that you remove the infringing files from your system or that you disable access to the infringing files. In addition, please inform the site operator of the illegality of his or her conduct.
You should understand that this letter constitutes notice to you that this site operator may be liable for the infringing activity occurring on your service. In addition, under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, if you ignore this notice, you and/or your company may also be liable for any resulting infringement. This letter does not constitute a waiver of any right to recover damages incurred by virtue of any such unauthorized activities, and such rights as well as claims for other relief are expressly retained.
You may contact me at IFPI Secretariat, [private address], London W1B 5RE, United Kingdom or email [private]@ifpi.org, to discuss this notice. We await your response.
Faithfully,
Notices Department
IFPI Secretariat
[Private address]
United Kingdom
Tel: [Private]
Fax: [Private]
E-mail: [Private]
Website: www.ifpi.org
Did you have Lionel Hutz draft a response?
Globix Corporation, which is also not to be confused with Globochem. Or else your cease-and-desist letter would have been signed by Pit Pat.
Oh, the IFPI. Because folks in the UK are so much more militant about MP3 promo ‘freebies’ than here in the US, the IFPI often ends up chasing after US-based sites who have permission from US-based labels to offer the free downloads. And they always bypass the website, going straight to the ISP (in this case, Globix). The best part, though, is how they have the position “Secretariat.” Is that like “aristocrat” plus “secretary”? Dude obviously wears a monocle.
I’m so proud of you
pit paaat!!!
The position of Secretariat at IFPI is currently held by Barbaro
Totally unrelated, but the other day as I was listening to new albums at the listening stations Brandon Flowers walks by a few times. He was easy to spot because he had that fuckwad colonel sanders/preacher bow tie on with a tight denim outfit and designer boots. He scowled as he zoomed into what I was listening to which was the new Young Knives CD (which is unbelievable) I’m sure he was there picking up Springsteen’s Nebraska album or something.
I’m now convinced that famous people love to be recognized otherwise they would not go to Virgin Megastore dressed like a gay preacher.
whew, please don’t sew meeeeeee!
Roosterocker, didnt you know – after realising how shite the new album is, Brandon Flowers actually became a gay preacher.
That letter is worded just like an email I just got from this guy in the Congo, apparently I have this long last relative there who left me a bunch of money and all they need is my SSN and my bank account number…