Cracked magazine’s new blog–never thought we’d be throwing those words together–has come up with the inevitable Pitchfork Media Drinking Game:
- If the reviewer begins the review you’re reading with a story that has essentially nothing to do with the record he or she is reviewing, take a drink.
- If the review starts with a question about whether the band in question can ever acheive popular success or implies that they’ve abandoned their fan base by acheiving popular success, take a drink.
- For every instance of the phrases “looms large,” “return to form,” “eponymous effort,” and “crucial record,” take a drink.
Alas, they forgot a few examples, such as “For every instance in which a mass-mailed press release is recycled as ‘News,’ take a drink” and “Every time you think they’re just plain making shit up, take a drink,” though we think both of those would have completely you blotto by noon.
The Pitchfork Media Drinking Game [MW Blog]
If I see the word “bombast” one more time…
If I see the word “bombast” on that site one more fucking time…
“For every instance in which a mass-mailed press release is recycled as ‘News’…”
You’re talking about Pitchfork with this line? Don’t you really mean to apply that to “*EVERY* music blog?”
I actually thought about starting a site where I merely cut-and-posted every single press release that came to my inbox, so that people could compare the text to what was being posted out in the music-blogosphere.
(Didn’t ultimately do it because, god, who has the time?)
For every “hip” article Cracked publishes, take a drink.
If Cracked publishes two dumb frat boy articles for every intelligent article take a drink.
If you think the Cracked website is really Maxim Magazine making fun of Cracked, take a drink.