Keith Richards Passes Out, Hits Head On The Caps-Lock Button

The Smoking Gun has updated its tour-riders section, and once again, the Rolling Stones prove that no one can top them when it comes to backstage bacchanalia. Check out these verbatim demands:

PLEASE FIND OUT WHAT CHANNEL IS SHOWING CRICKET. THAT IS THE CHANNEL WE NEED MOST OF ALL. I BELIEVE DIRECT T.V. HAS THE CHANNEL WE NEED. WE WILL USE OUR OWN TV AND VCR.

And:

TEMPURATURE, HEATING AND AIR FLOW ARE VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE INFORM ME OF WHAT THE VENUE PROVIDES. THAT MEANS WHAT IS ARCHITECTURALLY PRE-EXISITING! I WANT TO KNOW HOW AND FROM WHERE THE CLIMATE IS CONTROLLED AND WHO CONTROLS IT.

Is it just us, or do these read as if they were written by a squad of cranky British robots? Either way, click below to read the most intimidating floral request of all time.

TSG BAckstage: Rolling Stones [Smoking Gun]

 
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  1. DeeJayQueue  |   Posted on Oct 12th, 2006

    wait, you mean the stones aren’t cranky british robots?

  2. chaircrusher  |   Posted on Oct 13th, 2006

    TEMPURATURE — is that a portmanteau, meaning the temperature of your Tempura? It is important that your deep fried zucchini and shrimp be served piping hit!

  3. Tyler Knew and Turk! Wendell Ate Won Too  |   Posted on Oct 13th, 2006

    WE WILL USE OUR OWN TV AND VCR.

    BECAUSE YOU BLOODY YANKS NEVER GOT THE WHOLE BETAMAX THING.

    Seriously Keef, buy a Tivo.

  4. misskaz  |   Posted on Oct 12th, 2006

    SNOOKER TABLE
    THE TOUR CARRIES THERE OWN SNOOKER TABLE

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