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While on a $2-bin spree a few months back, we decided to pick up the self-titled album by the New York outfit Morningwood–despite our grave misgivings about the band’s name, we had an extra two bucks, and there were more than enough copies in the bin to spare. We returned to the Idolator flophouse and plopped the CD into our stereo, only to be gobsmacked by how just flat-out awful it sounded. The music was stoopidly slick, the songs were all too long by half, and lead moaner Chantal Claret’s “sexy” vamping almost made us feel bad for her. (”First it was my legs, now my heart is open”? Come on.) The vision we got was of a Capitol Records honcho, upon finding out that The Gossip existed, heading down to the Major Label Cloning Lab to concoct a version that was completely depoliticized, 110% cheesier, and really freaking annoying. The CD was returned to the used-bin from which it came a few weeks later.
So when we heard the news that these jokers would be playing this Halloween’s edition of the Motherfucker party, where many a band on the rise has made a triumphant New York appearance, we were inspired to start a brand-new feature: “Are You Shitting Us?” It’ll be an every-so-often look at a terrible band that has to be a creation of street-teaming gone horribly wrong, complete with damning evidence in MP3 format. If you’re one of the few people who actually paid full price to listen to Morningwood–live or on record–by all means, feel free to explain yourself in comments. But we had to re-download this crap again just to write this piece, and we’re about five seconds away from completely swearing off BitTorrent as a result.
Morningwood – Body 21 [MP3, link expired]
Morningwood [morningwoodrocks.com]
Previously: Capitol Records Employees Prepare For Awkward Holiday Party
It’s good camp, that’s all. Also, it scores high in the “driving fast with the windows open and stereo blasting down the Interstate” test, which is something New Yorkers infrequently get to do I guess.
I inadvertently saw this band once and it’s the only show I’ve ever been to where the entire audience was embarassed not only for themselves, but also for the band and humanity in general.
The first time I heard that “Nth Degree” song on satellite radio, I thought it must be the soundtrack for a shampoo commercial.
This gave me a severe case of Shrinky Dinx.
i had a minor “r u shttng me” moment this morning, though i can’t say it wasn’t completely unpredictable: gnarls barkley touring with red hot chili peppers. what they have in common? both bands are jokers, but one more intentionally than the other.
“Oh, you’ve never heard of Morningwood? They’re pretty good. I don’t know… they’re sort of Courtney Love-meets-Lucious Jackson, with a little Divinyls and Young Black Teenagers thrown in for good measure.”
After a good pruning, I think this album achieves exactly what it sets out to achieve: it’s a fun, fluff-filled pop album. What’s wrong with that?
I never noticed the band ever taking itself seriously, so why should you?
hey, no sullying the divinyls’ name! that self-titled record is pretty good.
It only scores high on the “driving fast with the windows open and chucking it out the window” test.
Add this one to the rock and roll playbook: Don’t have a beer-goggles-only singer and a song called “Take Off Your Clothes.”
Actually a fun album and a great live act. Chantal ends the set by getting a chick from the audience on stage to strip. The two then dry hump. That alone makes them better then Yo La Tengo.
I guess I qualify as one of the suckers who paid good money for both the CD and a live date (sort of; see below). I can’t say I deeply regret either, but I don’t have a good counterargument for your screed. They are pretty dumb, and at this point Andy Slater at Capitol clearly has egg on his face for not putting these jokers over at radio.
I saw them live opening for the Sounds at Irving Plaza about six months ago. I went into the show officially neutral, having found “Nth Degree” fun and catchy and the rest of the record forgettable.
And live they were…meh. A lot of cursing, a lot of energy, and one memorable moment during “Take Off Your Clothes” where someone much, much hotter than the lead singer was invited onstage to strip down to her knickers. But songs-wise and chops-wise, the Sounds blew them off the stage.
Huh-huh…I said “blew.”
Y’know, that song didn’t bug me as much as that photo of them. Their vaguely ska-meets-Weezer faux indie style was no doubt cooked up during a coke-fueled sodomy party somewhere in the Hollywood Hills. Not that there’s anything wrong with sodomy.
…And any band that has their url as “www.(band name)rocks” most surely doesn’t.
You crack me up Rabi!
Fuck the Sounds, they are WEAK! I just saw their album cover and realized Princess Coldstare is on the cover.
Okay Morningwood. Damn, I’ve never seen such vitriol over a band. I wonder why? I was not a sucker to buy it (downloaded it), I got tickets to see them live at Bowery and can honestly say I was amused.
As far as the music, it’s bubblegum. I never listened to it again. why should I? I got it the first time around.
Maybe I just have a thing for chunky chicks.
I like Chunky rock chicks!
i’ve heard the album (didn’t pay for it) and have seen them live (didn’t pay for it). both are miserable experiences. i was hunched over the bar in pain during their set. i listened to the album just out of curiosity. (even a lame album should be heard at least once, just so my derision has legitimacy.)
if any band deserves the ire of the capitol record staff, this is it. yes, andy slater signed interpol…but he’s got morningwood on his roster, too.
i’ve had that fucking “Nth degree” song in my head ever since i read this post & i hate you for it.
Wow. Girls stripping and dryhumping? How edgy! The kids will eat that up!
“Strip w/ Chantal” happens at EVERY show because it’s all calculated cynical crap. Morningwood is about as spontaneous and original as a focus group.
Morningwood / Suicide Girls: Chunky Girls Hump Tour ‘07. C’mon Idolator, make it happen.
Morningwood stage show = Pussyfatdolls.
Also:
“driving fast with the windows open and stereo blasting down the Interstate”
??
Did all of the Iron Maiden records on earth disappear?
Iron Maiden’s good for that too, never said they weren’t.
if chunky’s a crime, that fall out boy singer would’ve been behind bars years ago. I’m just saying.
I know this is a Gawker Media product, but there are plenty of reasons to loathe Morningwood. “No Fat Chicks” shouldn’t be one of them.
this has nothing to do w/ their sound, but once I was taking a piss at the Bowery, and some really annoying chick was yelling at her publicist, “No, I need to look floaty, like a butterfly,” about her upcoming “MTV appearance” for like 10 minutes in the bathroom. It was Chantal. And you thought the music was annoying.
believe it or not but Morningwood are doing exactly what they set out to do when they started out playing shows at Pianos a couple years ago, long before the coked-up record execs came along. if anything all they did was encourage them.
i haven’t seen Morningwood play in a long time – and I watched a lot of my friends go from excitement to boredom with them because of the predictability of their live show even then – if you see it once you’ve got the idea and you don’t have to see it again, I suppose. But still, it’s fun stuff, even if the album was a bit overproduced. There’s still some good music in there.
It’s cock rock with a vagina: A strap-on for the senses.
Just because you were popular in what is now the MisShapes scene back in 2002 does not grant you musical talent.
it’s good fun pop music. There are a million less talented and more annoying groups out there to pick on. (*ahem* every other artist on the Capitol roster, although they probably have one token legit act like The Flaming Lips or somebody but I dont feel like looking it uo *ahem*)