Oh my God, y’all. The dream is over. Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, citing “irreconcilable differences.”
(Does this mean that the rest of his concerts are going to be canceled?)
BREAKING: K-Fed’s Free Ride Is Officially Finished
November 7th, 2006 // 20 Comments
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sounds like a good idea to me.
Subject: CNN Breaking News
Date: Tue, 7 Nov 2006 16:09:02 -0500
From: CNN Breaking News
Reply-To: newseditor@MAIL.CNN.COM
To: TEXTBREAKINGNEWS@CNNIMAIL12.CNN.COM
– Britney Spears files for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.
I’m sorry, this should never, ever, EVER count as breaking news, especially on election day. America, you are SO sucking right now. Please redeem yourself in the election returns, please.
good point, MTS. i hadn’t thought about that… especially when there is this:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20061107/ts_alt_afp/usvotemach…
I think this is a last-ditch Republican ploy to distract the Western states from the polls.
MAYBE THIS WAS FAITH HILL’S DOING
If the Dems lose the Cheetos-and-Newports vote because of this, I’m gonna be inconsolable.
Britney, c’mon, divorce isn’t the answer. The only way to resolve “irreconcilable differences” is by having a third baby.
Goin’ off the rails of the gravy train…
I don’t believe in love anymore.
K-Fed is a genius, by the way. You can’t tell me he didn’t envision this moment from the day he met Britney.
We’re all playing checkers, K-Fed’s playing chess.
Maybe two disastrous tours, a lapse in album releases, shitty album and merch sales and increasing bad looks drove Britney to ponder “is my label right y’all? do people really not buy my music because of mah voice? and if they drop me, will i really be losing my frappuccino money?”
and then she reached for the divorce papers as she shed a cheese whiz flavored tear.
I’ve already had to listen to his “mic skills”. This is too little, too late.
Karl Rove had something to do with this.
Hey, there’s always his future in selling underwear.
Federline, yo.
Our long national nightmare is over.
Maybe he and Santorum can hook up for some buddy comedy now that they’ll both be unemployed.
Kevin and Rick Get Kicked Out of White Castle
So, now on to the important point of todays business… where do I send my resume for the currently vacant position of “talentless fool to marry and impregnate washed up ex-pop princess while living off of her residuals to finance my newly found rap career?” I’d like to apply.
This “breaking news” masks a very important election in the US, but it also overshadows the fact that Japanese horses are winning prestigious Australian races.
Everything’s falling apart!
Combine this with what looks to be a miserable sales week on his album, and this will never be listed as K-Fed’s best week ever.
I beg to differ. This is about as high profile as he’ll ever be. It’s all downhill in K-Fed World from here.
Combine this with what looks to be a miserable sales week on his album, and this will never be listed as K-Fed’s best week ever.