First place in this week’s Pick Of The ‘Fork was a nail-biter until the very end. But in our just-shuttered poll, 34% of you thought that ” … [he] warns us that he’s got ‘magic crying out my ass’; let’s hope he invests in a filter for gold and not a buttplug.” was the fake. But alas, it wasn’t; that sentence came out of William Bowers’ 7.8 review of Annuals’ Be He Me.
And that 34% tally was only a hair ahead of No. 2, “… boy sees girl, girl snaps thong, boy’s eyes go ‘awooga!’ and tongue rolls out into a red carpet.”. Was that our decoy? No, it came from Ryan Dombal’s 3 1/2-star take on Akon’s “I Wanna Love/Fuck You [ft. Snoop Dogg]“; 33% of you thought it was written by your Idolators, even though we spell “awoooga!” with three o’s, not two.
Our fake sentence? “Never mind the verse-chorus-verse paradigm–here’s the ringtone.” It came in last, garnering a mere 16% of the vote. Clearly, we need to use “paradigm” more often when we’re writing these things.
The final contestant:
“This would have been the perfect opportunity for a concept review. The situation almost demands it.”: Rock Plaza Central, Are We Not Horses? (8.4 from Stephen M. Deusner, and 18% of the vote)
i’m a weiner!
The Rock Plaza Central review was quintessential Pitchfork. Dude considers the concept review out loud, decides it’s too indulgent, then spends TWO MORE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS talking about himself.