When is an anonymous blog not really an anonymous blog? Well, when one of your Idolators know who’s behind it, but won’t say, because after three months of this crap, we’re down to two friends apiece. Anyway, the all-caps hilarity of Gabe Said “We’re Into Movements” may be a little too inside-baseball for people who don’t follow hip-hop, but those who like their musical rants and raves clammy with frustration–and who appreciate references to The Wire, Ossie Davis and Joe Budden–will drop their jaws at the site’s open letters, which include this brilliant missive describing one of Jay-Z’s nightmares:
IN YOUR DREAM, YOU ARE NAS.
YOU PUT OUT ALBUMS AND NOBODY CARES. YOU START BEEF AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. SIRIUS DOESN’T GET BACK TO YOU ABOUT HAVING YOUR OWN SHOW. YOU CALL NEW ALBUMS SHIT LIKE, STILL PLENTY OF REASON TO DOUBT. DJ DRAMA TELLS YOU HE’S “CRAZY BUSY.” YOU DON’T OWN SUMMER.
BECAUSE THAT’S WHY YOU ARE PUTTING THIS SHIT OUT, RIGHT? IT’S NOT REALLY SOME FUCKING TAX BREAK FOR ISLAND. IOVINE ISN’T PAYING YOU TO COCK-BLOCK JEEZY. AND IT SURE AIN’T BECAUSE YOU HAVE A LOT ON YOUR MIND.
THE REAL REASON YOU COPPED HALF-A-DOZEN DRE BEATS THAT COULDN’T MAKE IT ON TO AN EVE ALBUM IS THAT YOU COULD NEVER ACCEPT THE IDEA OF NORMAL. THAT YOU WOULD PUT OUT AN ALBUM AND CATS WOULD BE LIKE, “COOL, BUT I HAVEN’T LIKED HIS LAST 4 ALBUMS THAT MUCH. I’LL RAPIDSHARE THAT MOTHERFUCKER.”
There’s plenty more where this came from. If you’ve ever wanted to see Kingdom Come and John Updike mentioned in the same riff, this is good stuff.