Gett Off (The Air): Rejected Super Bowl Halftime Show Ideas

More than a few eyebrows went up after the NFL announced Prince as the halftime performer for Super Bowl XLI–not just because it’s been merely three years since Janet’s little friend said hi to the TV people, but because most of the billion-plus viewing audience is probably expecting some form of actual royalty to hit the stage, instead of the guy who once sang “People call me rude, I wish we were all nude.” Idolator was lucky enough to snag an internal memo between the NFL and CBS in which clueless-yet-inventive entertainment coordinators and PR flacks attempted to concoct some alternative options for the Purple One’s performance. After the jump, see the highlights.

· A Tribute to the Indianapolis Backfield

· Performance opens with Billy Graham (via satellite) saying “Dearly beloved, we R gathered here 2day 2 get thru this thing called … HALFTIME”

· Children paid to fill the area in front of the stage will stand silently with the word “Slave” written on their cheeks

· “22 positions in a Goal-Line Stand: A Retrospective of Red-Zone Defensive Alignments”

· The “Happy Feet” Penguin-Punting Charity Kickathon

· Instead of background dancers, Prince is surrounded by The FCC WatchDawgs, who walk slowly around him, taking copious notes and suspiciously leering

· New game title: Super XLI

· Wendy and Lisa replaced by Lesley (Stahl) and Katie (Couric)

· “Race and Representation in Professional Sports: A Roundtable with Professor Cornel West, author Michael Eric Dyson, and Morris Day”

· David Caruso (CSI: Miami) comes out with a giant brush to Dust for Prince

· Giant Inflatable “Darling Nikki”

Earlier: Videodrone: What Not To Expect From Prince’s Super Bowl Performance [Photo: Getty Images]