Idolator Handicaps “Ego Trip’s (White) Rapper Show”

idolguest3 | February 2, 2007 2:30 am

Here at the flophouse, we can’t stop unpacking the layers of irony in VH1’s Ego Trip’s (White) Rapper Show. We are pleased to see the program progressing according to our plan: 100 Proof and G-Child were certainly a fun pair to watch (especially G-Child’s little b-boy dance–how cute!), but Serch and Prince Paul recognized their dearth of talent and reclaimed their green Converse. After the jump, we handicap the remaining six white rappers, and give odds on those destined to receive the Gas Face:

Jus Rhyme: The lobotomized, white-guilt version of The Real World‘s Kevin Powell–his heart and his social conscience are on his sleeve, and he’d do well to switch to tank tops. His saucer-sized eyes, mile-wide grins and non-stop positivity seem to indicate severe amounts of self-delusion. Worst of all, he’s also apparently a Ph.D. candidate in Ethnic Studies at USC. Unless the department has drastically reduced its expectations, we can’t imagine a 200-page dissertation about the evils of “white supremacy.” Serch has to hate this guy. Look for him to turn in his sneakers on the next episode. 50:1

Jon Boy: Easily the least personable of the remaining six. While shyness might make for a decent interpersonal trait, it does not necessarily make a good rapper, unless he aspires to be the next Emmehnem. 10:1

Shamrock: He’s the one who knew how to do laundry a couple episodes back, and that should really count for something. But despite his southern decency and moderately good Bubba Sparxxx impression, his muffed-up mug makes Sparxxx look like T.I., and even Serch, who himself resembles fellow VH1 star Tom Sizemore, can’t let that slide. 6:1

Persia: She’s come a long way from her bitchy, dildo-waving, fight-picking behavior in the early episodes and emerged as a brassy Earth mother prone to crying jags. Yet while she’s certainly got more East Coast/Golden Age cred (what the show’s really looking for, after all) than her remaining competitors combined, the waterworks reveal a persona that’s more Paula Abdul than Yo-Yo. 5:1

John Brown: He’s not much more than the sum of three or four unintentionally hilarious slogans, but if he’s able to work the irony angle he so desperately needs, he could have a viable shot at something more than a second career making prank calls for Crank Yankers. Like Persia, he’s also been exposed as a Big Softie–and, more importantly, the only competitor who understands that, contrary to Serch’s constant, seemingly unironic claims, the show is a game. Last episode, when he had the opportunity to choose sides for a challenge, he picked the weaker team, figuring that he’d be less likely than Jus Rhyme or Jon Boy to get voted off. As the recipient of Persia’s dildo attack, he’s automatically the sentimental favorite, and will be one of the last two. 4:1

Sullee: He seems to be Serch’s personal favorite, and he’s certainly the most talented character left on the show. While we know that he’s going to have to figure out how to not completely blow it during pressure moments if he wants to stay, we predict that Sullee straightens out his stage fright, wins, and releases the most exciting collection of white, Boston-repping rap music since the salad days of the Funky Bunch. 3:2

Ego Trip’s (White) Rapper Show [vh1.com]

Tags: ,