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Every Tuesday night, starry-eyed young girls and pantless old men settle down for another episode of the CW’s latest reality show, Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. Our guide to yesterday’s installment after the click-through.
Highlights from Episode 3: “The Transformation”
- With only eight contestants left, the girls are given a lesson on how to develop their “persona.” This is a lot like last week’s “confidence” lesson, except this time, the cast members are lectured by Pussycat Dolls member Kimberly, who notes that on some days she has to wear a mohawk, and isn’t that kinda crazy?
- After being assigned Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker,” Sisely feels as though there’s more pressure on her than on any other contestant to get the song right. This, presumably, is because she has the shortest hair, and it’s really hurting her confidence.
- In order to develop a new “persona”–or, as they say in the real world, “carefully cultivated, niche-satisfying stereotype”–the girls get their hair cut by the overly confident Jonathan Antin, who is told to “rock their inner persona.” He does this by taking whatever style they have now, and styling it the opposite way.
- Chelsea reminds us yet again that she used to be overweight, and that it’s greatly affected her confidence. This causes even the most sympathetic FFS (Formerly Fat Syndrome) sufferers in the audience to roll their eyes.
- At the 16-minute mark, Robin Antin emits a squeal so high-pitched, it effectively wards off any approaching velociraptors–even the confident velociraptors!
- The cast is taken to a cocktail-free cocktail party in Hollywood, where the girls giggle and schmooze and presumably talk about confidence with Lil’ Kim, while avoiding being sexually harassed by agents–for now.
- The girls are given the chance to record “Don’t Cha” in the studio with producer/executive Ron Fair, who belts out the “freeeak like me” part with admirable white-guy gusto and confidence.
- At the final performance, the groups perform En Vogue’s “Free Your Mind” and “Heartbreaker,” respectively. Celebrity judge Lil’ Kim makes a point of mentioning that covered “Heartbreaker,” and did it better, and with more confidence. Also of note: She went to jail!
- Sisely and Jamie are the last two left for elimination, but because Jamie lacks “persona,” she gets the feather-boa boot, and Sisely is spared for another episode. Next week’s lesson: “Self-Esteem: Can It Build Confidence?”
Cat Scratch Fever [Archive]
This show makes me want to die.
I can’t believe Cee-Lo wrote “Don’t Cha”
This just sounds like Top Model without the pretense to actually winning something or the maybe-I’m-a-lesbian drama. Unless you count being a Pussycat Doll as “winning something.”
I’m going to cast my lot with a previous commentor though and keep my fingers crossed for the stern, rubber-legged Doll-ette in the back row.
More Highlights:
- In the studio, didn’t everyone except Sisely have compression, maybe some reverb, on their voices? They’re so setting her up to be “not right” for the group, but “beautiful and talented” anyway, which means she’ll get to bellyflop an album before returning to obscurity. And they’ve got to be coaching her off screen about copping tude. No one would roll their eyes and look on the verge of tears that much and expect to win.
- Last week, didn’t they introduce Lil Kim as “the biggest selling female rap artist of all time”? This week, it was “one of the biggest female rappers of all time.”
- Me sitting at the laptop, never having realized that En Vogue changed George Clinton’s “Free Your Mind” to say “rest” instead of “ass,” Googling to be sure.
I love how the chick stretched out in furthest back left of the picture above is pretty much just coming off like, “Look, just stick it in, okay?”
Last night someone asked me if I really liked the show or if I just watch it for the cringe factor and I had to admit I don’t really know the difference any more.
i dont have a TV do these girls actually sing without a vocorder?