One of our favorite aspects of the start of baseball season, aside from, of course, the games: The possibility of new at-bat songs, those 30-second musical snippets that herald a home-team player’s arrival on the field. Mets third baseman David Wright has been agonizing about his choices for this season during most of Spring Training, and with good reason: How can you improve on the opening skronk-blast of “Brass Monkey,” one of the songs Wright used last year?
Anyway, the Mets have decided to open voting on this matter to the fans, listing 60 songs that will eventually be narrowed down to a final four. While some of the candidates are almost as horrific as “Our Team, Our Time,” we came up with a four-pack that’ll serve David through the season’s doggiest days, and threw in a write-in for good measure:
Cassie – Me & U
WHAT IT IS: Chilly, almost-robotic track from Diddy protege.
WHY IT SHOULD GET THE NOD: Icy, barely-there beat will sound amazin’ on blast, even coming from Shea Stadium’s decrepit speakers.
M.I.A. – Galang
WHAT IT IS: Purple-hazy club banger.
WHY IT SHOULD GET THE NOD: The closest thing to “Buffalo Stance” on the list. Also, every person we showed this list to immediately replied, “WTF, ‘Galang’?”
Nas – New York State Of Mind
WHAT IT IS: Not the Billy Joel song.
WHY IT SHOULD GET THE NOD: Yes, it’s fierce, but imagine the hilarity that will ensue when it becomes obvious that this song was only chosen for its title.
My Chemical Romance – Welcome To The Black Parade
WHAT IT IS: Gloomy, glammy epic that’ll get many fists a-pumping.
WHY IT SHOULD GET THE NOD: Song about cancer infinitely preferable to presence of clubhouse cancer.
Super Mario Bros. Theme
WHAT IT IS: An 8-bit favorite that now serves as a ringtone for half of the cell-phone-owning population.
WHY IT SHOULD GET THE NOD: Will conjure up mental images of opposing teams actually being made up of Koopa Paratroopas.
Mets fans take swing for David Wright’s at-bat songs at Shea [mets.com; hat tip to Jon Solomon]
I’ve always wanted to hear a player get introduced to Yo Vanilla from Vanilla Ice’s To The Extreme Album. It’s the 4 second track that goes, “Yo Vanilla, kick it one time, boooooooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”
That player will immediately become my favorite player and sell several thousands of dollars in merchandise to me and my friends
30-second clips? Have you ever been to a game?
@Mark Cuban Missile Crisis: mea culpa; living on internet time means that even two seconds seem like half a minute to me.
The Darkwing Duck theme song. “When you’re in trouble call DW”. Athletes need to use theme songs more… the only one I can think of is Jason Giambi, who use to utilize the theme song of a WWE wrestler, forget which one…
SML: I love that suggestion! “When there’s trouble, you call DW; Let’s get dangerous!” Fucking awesome. He should totally use that song when there’s 2 outs, the Mets are down, and there’re men on base.
And This is why I’m hot is also a great suggestion. I’m especially partial to the line:
I’m hot ’cause I’m fly/You ain’t ’cause you not.
Hilarious in its simplicity.
@stopmikelupica: Sounds good in theory, but that wouldn’t always work out so well. Trot Nixon would use Triple H’s theme song as his at-bat music, and once he gets his fourth plate appearance, “TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAME” gets kind of stale. Sorry, Lemmy.
@Aquemini: Wow. I go to Florida State.