Well, the funny-retort quotient for the remaining weeks of American Idol has plunged, and so has the potential for a band on Tooth & Nail to get their moment in the Idol sun. Yes, Chris Sligh got the boot last night. Perhaps in anticipation of the show’s chief jokester getting kicked off, Ryan opened last night’s elimination show by coming out in a ponyhawk wig; when he flipped his head, the wig fell to the floor, where it looked sort of like a discarded mop-head.
WHO’S OUT: Aw, Chris. David Hasselhoff may not be crying, but we are (even if both his performances this week were pretty crummy). Chris, if you ever want to guest-blog for us, the door is seriously open. Also: Why does Phil owe Chris $50? Won’t gambling get him in even more trouble with his alma mater?
WHO’S (INEXPLICABLY) IN: Haley, who was in the bottom two–although she solidified her “unmemorable” bona fides by being called “Stacey” by Ryan. (Hey, at least her Katharine McPhee makeover didn’t result in a more embarrassing slip-up.) Expect her to perform in a bikini next week–when Tony Bennett coaches the contestants.
THE HEARTTHROB HAS BEEN DECLARED: Sure, it was kind of weird to do a Ford Mustang commercial that’s set in the Wild West, but the important thing to take away from it is that Chris Richardson–and not Blake–was the “outlaw” in the clip. And we have to say that he looked pretty great as the dirty-faced, wide-grinning bad boy; that performance will probably keep him saved by the hyperactive-teen-girl vote for another three weeks, at least.
GIVE ME A G: Now, we admired Gwen Stefani’s candor when discussing the contestants’ vocal shortcomings, but her performance of “The Sweet Escape” could best be described as atonal. Actually, scratch that: just bad. Why is Simon not judging the contestants’ performances? You know Paula was sitting there thinking “She’s up there, and people are making fun of my greatest-hits record? Bitch, please. If you’re going to bite ‘Forever Your Girl,’ at least do it in tune.”
PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 9/10. She seemed confused when asked whether Chris or Haley would be leaving, but it could have been residual shock from being so blatantly ripped off–down to the shorts!–by Gwen Stefani.
American Idol [americanidol.com]
Earlier: Idolator’s American Idolatry archives
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My…spirit…is…broken.
sanjaya (verb) – to take the spot of a more deserving or more talented competitor. A lazy coworker sanjayaed my promotion
Ya, Chris may have more talent than Sanjaya, but he didn’t really bring his A game this week. And Chris should have ruled Alternative Week. But he picked a Police song that hasn’t aged well, and it was one of the Police’s more boring songs to boot. I was growing weary of him anyway, and would have wanted him to go in the next 3 weeks anyway.
But really, we all just need to take a chill pill and ignore Sanjaya. They keep playing up the fact that he doesn’t belong, and is a freak, and he’ll keep getting more and more attention, and more and more votes. Everyone just cool it on Sanjaya backlash, and he’ll lose votes quicker than William Hung in a sex video controversey.
And did Akon seem to have no idea what was going on? He didn’t know when to go “whoo-hoo” and when to be sing his little hook, right down to launching into some words when he should’ve been freezing like the end of a Growing Pains episode! Oh, Kon.
I don’t watch the show any more, but I’m surprised how many people around here take it seriously. Why does everyone want Sanjaya off? Is he not the most entertaining character in a batch of duller-than-dulls? When did people start caring about who wins American Idol? When did it stop being a joke?
And who the hell is Akon? He seems to have come out of nowhere. Am I right, or am I just completely out of the loop in regard to pop culture? THought I was an expert on the subject. Oh well.
akon has had an album firmly lodged in the top 10 for a while now.
@More Often Wrong: I think most of us love Sanjaya. He is about the only reason worth watching this season. Especially now that Sligh got the boot. Sure, Chris hasn’t sounded great the past couple of weeks, but he is better/more entertaining than most of the guys and girls left. Plus, anyone that name checks Vote for the Worst during the actual show is alright by me.
I’m sad to see Chris go, too, since he’s far more interesting and talented than most of the remaining contestants. But honestly, he never really lived up to his potential either as a singer or a jokester.
I think his botched Teletubbies joke scared him away from any further snarkiness, which was too bad, because it allowed Sanjaya to steal the spotlight.
Wouldn’t it have been great if Chris had shown up on Wednesday in a Sanjaya-mocking pony hawk, instead of letting freakin’ Ryan Seacrest get the best joke of the night? He had the hair for it. And if he’d let his personality show through more, he would’ve been able to weather a couple of weaker performances and not get voted off so early.
Sanjaya has all of San Francisco, West Hollywood, Chelsea, Fire Island, Palm Springs, and SOuth Beach voting for him.
This guy was a fucking poseur. Here’s Chris talking about his diet plan on one of his nonsense blogs for Christ:
“So I have started a 2 week diet that will lead into a different lifestyle. For the next 2 weeks, I am using a colon cleanse treatment that helped Beyonce’ lose 20 pounds for her role in Dream Girls.”
http://theologicaldigressions.blogspot.com/
He’s Milli Vanilli crossed with Jerry Falwell. Fuck, people.
Out of this year’s finalists, I think that Chris S. and Blake are (were) the most original ones (as far as the show is concerned). But Votefortheworst.com has taken me over, and the past couple weeks I have voted for Sanjaya. The show isn’t really about finding good singers, it is about making a good TV show.
Sanjaya’s long run is the most entertaining this show has ever been, and I am going to do my best to keep it that way.
Besides the hilarity of it, I almost see this as a rebellion against an entertaining show that focuses solely on the voice, honoring emulation over creativity.