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A few months ago, the world fell in love with Knut, the polar bear cub whose cuteness is uncontested, and whose name–and let’s all be honest about this–really looked like something different and horrifying if you read it too fast. But late last year, the world was head over heels in love with another ursine entity, Gerard vs. Bear. First unleashed into the wild last August, the anonymous proprietor behind Gerard Vs. Bear is a cranky muckraker who loves picking on music bloggers and coining absurd catchphrases (i.e. “Fuck the fuck!”). He/she even inspired some guessing-games and a bit of identity theft. But in the last few months, GVB’s output has slowed down to only a few handful of posts. So what happened?
Some highly speculative (and highly flawed) conspiracy theories as to why Gerard Vs. Bear hasn’t been popping up on our RSS reader that much lately:
- He/she has realized that there are not enough music-blog scandals to justify daily ranting and/or raving. Is there hacky writing? Yes. Poor research? Sure. Unchecked fanboyishness? There is–and it’s awesome! But the sort of widespread corruption or “gotcha” payola rarely comes into play–at least not as often as we’d all like. Without it, you’re stuck correcting people when they confuse “it’s” with “its.”
- He/she has gotten a time-consuming real job–or, more tantalizingly, he/she has gotten a job with a “legit” music-writing outfit, making it harder for him/her to attack said music-writing outfit, even anonymously. Co-option is a killer.
- He/she just stopped caring about what a bunch of mid-twentysomethings have to say about the new Bright Eyes album.
- He/she was Larry “Bud” Melman.
I vote for “real job”. Gerard dropped a few hints about knowing people in hip hop. Know anyone newly employed at a label/mag?
Yeah, it is kind of strange. I was also kind of perplexed by Gerard referring to himself in the third person as “Ishmail Ax” a few months back …
pretty sure ott admitted to being behind this on hipinion a while ago
Didn’t we already decide that this was Chris Ott?
Ah, I don’t miss it/him too much. Gorilla vs. Bear, where every album is great, will always be funnier.
What up the fuck?!Gerard not Chris Ott. Gerard think that make clear long time for ago. FUUUCK you. FUUUCK.Fuck. You.
I thought we decided this WASN’T Chris Ott. He couldn’t be that funny even if he tried.