A few months ago, the world fell in love with Knut, the polar bear cub whose cuteness is uncontested, and whose name–and let’s all be honest about this–really looked like something different and horrifying if you read it too fast. But late last year, the world was head over heels in love with another ursine entity, Gerard vs. Bear. First unleashed into the wild last August, the anonymous proprietor behind Gerard Vs. Bear is a cranky muckraker who loves picking on music bloggers and coining absurd catchphrases (i.e. “Fuck the fuck!”). He/she even inspired some guessing-games and a bit of identity theft. But in the last few months, GVB’s output has slowed down to only a few handful of posts. So what happened?
Some highly speculative (and highly flawed) conspiracy theories as to why Gerard Vs. Bear hasn’t been popping up on our RSS reader that much lately:
- He/she has realized that there are not enough music-blog scandals to justify daily ranting and/or raving. Is there hacky writing? Yes. Poor research? Sure. Unchecked fanboyishness? There is–and it’s awesome! But the sort of widespread corruption or “gotcha” payola rarely comes into play–at least not as often as we’d all like. Without it, you’re stuck correcting people when they confuse “it’s” with “its.”
- He/she has gotten a time-consuming real job–or, more tantalizingly, he/she has gotten a job with a “legit” music-writing outfit, making it harder for him/her to attack said music-writing outfit, even anonymously. Co-option is a killer.
- He/she just stopped caring about what a bunch of mid-twentysomethings have to say about the new Bright Eyes album.
- He/she was Larry “Bud” Melman.