Simon Cowell has announced that he’ll quit American Idol in 2010, thus opening the door for some other sharp-tongued Brit to take his place on the talent show, if the crappy sales of most of its winners don’t help it get canceled by then. (Just please don’t hire that Weakest Link woman, Fox powers that be; while the spectacle of her trying to get Paula Abdul right would be funny for half an episode, we suspect her banter with Ryan wouldn’t be as charged with near-murderous undertones.) Also, he smokes Kools? How has he not been mocked by someone on the show over that fact? Menthols are nasty.
Cowell: I’m quitting [Mirror]