Britney Spears’ VMA-opening performance last night: Was it bad, was it pretty bad, or was it beyond awful? A smattering of reactions from various members of the media follows after the jump.
• “Thanks to her annus horribilis — or, more accurately, anni horribiles — she was one of the most anticipated VMA performers in years. Voyeurs around the world were ready to see a fallen star back onstage. She didn’t disappoint: she was awful. Visibly nervous, she tottered around the stage, dancing tentatively and doing nothing that sounded or looked like real live singing. It’s too bad, because the song itself, “Gimme More,” is a pleasant surprise: brash and sleek and unapologetic. But Sunday’s performance in Las Vegas didn’t seem very likely to stem the tide of mean-spirited jokes about Ms. Spears.” [NYT]
• “But there was nothing memorable about Spears last night. Lip-syncing the thin, breathy vocals, she seemed bored. At one point, she stopped moving her lips altogether. The performer has been through a lot since the last time she wowed the MTV crowd. Perhaps last night, she still had a lot on her mind.” [Baltimore Sun]
• “Britney Spears’ first major performance in three years, at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, has been widely dismissed as a disaster. The BBC’s David Willis said her performance would ‘go down in the history books as being one of the worst to grace the MTV Awards’. … Singer and producer Akon added that ‘it definitely could have been a lot better’. ‘She seemed nervous… you could tell by the expression on her face,’ he said.” [BBC]
• “You couldn’t even get good hair extensions?????? You have no one to blame for your failure but YOU! There was no way you were going to be good. You were out partying every night before the VMAs for three days in a row until almost sunrise! You were probably still drunk or high during your performance!!! You almost tripped a few times, you fucking mess!!!!!!!” [Perez Hilton]
• “With images of chandeliers floating on the screen behind her mixed with silhouettes of women befitting the intro reel to a James Bond flick, Spears walked across the stage as her scantily clad dancers worked a series of stripper poles scattered throughout the room. And then, after all that hype, a relieved-looking Brit gave a shy smile, whispered “thank you” and exited after a low-key performance that was quickly overshadowed by the likes of high-energy sets from the Foo Fighters, Chris Brown, Kanye and the most talked-about hookup (or is it right hook?) of the night: a scuffle between Pamela Anderson’s former husbands, Kid Rock and Tommy Lee, that had Diddy and Jamie Foxx pleading with rock stars to end the violence.” [MTV, putting on its best "we may need access to her in 2008 if we're still this screwed" game face]
[Photo: AP]
@Aquemini: The smartest man in the world should know how to spell ogle.
On my cig break, I was just thinking, MTV could do itself a world of good if it expanded the suite idea into a 1 hour show. Groups invite different musicians they like on to jam for an hour. Sure, there’s guaranteed to be some episodes where my old ass is left in the cold (e.g. Gym Class Heroes and Boys Like Girls and what have you), but there’s guaranteed to be a few stellar shows.
Oh man, you know things are bad when the New York Times says you have a horrible anus.
@janine: You know what? You’re right, I should (also as an English major no less):
1. oggle
v. 1. To stare at the breasts or ass of a woman with out their knowledge. see also “learing”
I watched the awards because I wanted to see Britney either fall further down or kick some ass. I was rooting for her, seriously. I sat on the edge of my couch in stomach pain because I was so embarassed for her. My boyfriend sat next to me laughing his ass off and pointing out every mistake. I was saddened and felt bad for her but I was also annoyed because I had just wasted precious minutes of my life watching her mess up lip synching which is something I managed to learn and conquer when I was in the 5th grade (thank you New Kids and Tiffany and one bored teacher). Britney has always pulled off good shows at the VMA’s but this was truly appalling. Actually the whole damn show was appalling. I was more interested in the Suites then the Main stage. Oh well, I will probably watch it next year cause I am stupid.
The best I could guess is Britney got her idea for the setup by watching Chicago and then saying “Let’s do something like the cell block tango, y’all!!”
@janine: I agree wholeheartedly, and this is the backbone of my feelings about the show last night: It was pretty awful, but for the first time in years, it wasn’t irredeemable.
MTV has basically become its own worst enemy — they are overthinking the show and afflicting it with ADD — and it’s a shame, because with a couple of huge exceptions (Britney, etc.) the acts generally brought it last night. The suite performances were mostly good to excellent (Fall Out Boy still can’t play their own songs for shit, but they sounded surprisingly awesome behind Rihanna), and Ronson and the Dap-Kings brought new life to most of the pop songs they reinterpreted.
I know I’m going to sound like a broken record (showing my age…what’s a broken record), but here I go again: The secret to fixing the MTV awards is to forget Web 2.0 ever happened, stage it as a trad award show, and let the acts wild out and perform — and don’t cut anybody off, not even Linkin Park!
If all of last night’s performances were on the main stage and allowed to be completed, we’d be remembering the 2007 VMAs as (a) the night Britney bombed (srsly, nothing would save that shit), but also (b) the night MTV made a quiet semi-comeback. No joke.
@Aquemini: No. That’s a misspelling so common it has turned up in the Urban Dictionary. Try plugging that into http://www.m-w.com, hater.
@dennisobell: I’m with you on the fact that most of the suite performances actually seemed really good - or at least the 30 seconds we heard from each one. I think a show with full performances of Cee-Lo or Serj with the Foo Fighters, Rihanna with FOB, or even Adam Levine with the Dap-Kings would’ve been a pretty great award show. Certainly better than that MTV-aesthetic-stretched-to-the-point-of-entropy mess that we got last night.
And for god’s sake, when you have the hottest artist of the moment performing the two biggest singles of the year, you should be able to do better than 45 seconds of one hit and 30 of the other.
One last thing - I’ve read a lot of praise of Alicia Keys’s performance, but am I the only one who thought it looked a heavier Cher performing a Mary J. reject that only Mary J.’s vocals could’ve saved?
@janine: no, no hating, i was just hoping maybe that would fool you into thinking that I had, in fact, spelled it correctly.
Only one ‘g’, i know.
@Aquemini: I wasn’t calling you a hater based on the one post. I think you’re a hater generally, which is fine…
I had another idea: Dre v2.0, Timbaland v2.0, and Reznor v2.0 in a steel cage death match. PPV! (I’d bet on Dre, he looks like he’s been doing at least a little cardio.
i can’t believe perez hilton is morally offended because her hair extensions are up to his standards. poor brit brit, why is she the only part of the vmas held up to any standard?? did anyone SEE the rest of the show??
I’d usually be the first in line to bash her because I’m cynical like that, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do that. It was really THAT bad, they should have used the rehearsals footage instead of letting her perfom the song live.
She wasn’t nervous, she wasn’t high, she looked as if her soul had been sucked out of her, it was just scary.
Did y’all notice that in the very beginning, Britney made a point of referencing Elvis’ ‘68 comeback special?
The worst thing you can say about Britney’s performance was that, coupled with Sara(h) Silverman’s lousy routine, it made everything that came after seem so much more enervated than it might’ve otherwise. MTV should’ve played it safe and said to hell with it, we’re putting her on mid-way.
I expect to see a whole lot of LOL SHE’S FAT commentary today. Maybe not here, but elsewhere.
@Aleb:
It was almost metaphorical — like a death dance for our embattled notions of fame and celebrity in the new millennium. No wait. It was actually just shit.
@rmacy: Nope.
@dickdogfood: very much agree about Sarah Silverman. she’s like a saltless cracker. i feel bad to be an american. It’s the all too familiar and tragic tale of someone being brought to God status as a tween and then publicly crucified for their mistakes when trying to grow through their 20s. she was made by money hungry pedophiles (parents+disney) and now that puberty is long gone, so is anyone she ever relied on for support. it’s sad. I also HATE Perez Hilton.
My verdict: Very Very Bad.
I even make fun of Brit’s performance in this online comic:
[www.itgumbo.com]
When you’re mocked in multiple media, you know you’re in trouble.
…and does anyone else think Vegas was a mistake? The pre-show had the vibe of an E3 or some other trade convention-type event.
Her performance was just awful. I’ve seen better choreography and lip-synching at a junior-high talent show.
All these comments act like Spears was ever any good at making music and didn’t lip-sync the audio that was pro-tooled in the studio to make her sound good on CD in the first place.
The headlines shouldn’t be “ooh, look her comeback sucked” , they should be “all you dumbasses are now realizing how bad she sucks because you aren’t willing to oggle her anymore.”
@leahatebizq: oooooh, burn. an online comic– you got her!