Why Does Mike Skinner Of The Streets Hate Us?

thestreets.jpgBecause he sounds like a Cockney head trauma victim haltingly reading the lyrics off a teleprompter as he struggles to force his tissue-thin vocal range through a tuneless, pitch-fucked, dare-you-to-get-through-it version of Elton John’s “Your Song” that’s streaming on his MySpace page and was recorded for that BBC Radio 1 anniversary covers comp I was bitching about a few months ago.

Pitchfork calls it “tender,” by which I think my colleague Mark Richardson means “like the painfully tender yellow bruise that forms the day after being kicked repeatedly in the stomach by a steel-toed boot.” This may, in fact, be the worst song I’ve heard in 2007, making me feel like I should apologize to any of my friends who bought his Skinner’s albums at my recommendation in the first half of the decade.

The Streets [MySpace]

 
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  1. brainchild  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Tell us how you really feel, Jess.

  2. dog door  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    ouch. well, I can’t really feel bad for the guy, though, since he does blow.

  3. sweetivy  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    i mean, does this even qualify as a song? it’s just spoken word with some backing vocals.

  4. janine  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Somewhere, Ewan MacGregor is feeling really good about himself.

  5. the rich girls are weeping  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Can I steal “pitch-fucked” for the name of my all hate, all the time blog? I’m only half-kidding.

  6. Lucas Jensen  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    He is the OMC of this decade. What a joke. Has anyone ever seen live footage? It’s execrable.

  7. JedTheMime  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Wow. Just wow.

    And I thought it couldn’t get any worse than his last album.

    I second your vote for Worst Song of 2007 and raise you a “potential career-killer”.

  8. Ned Raggett  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Oh, I’ve seen him live. He got the crowd going well enough but his backing singer ate him alive. (Not to mention the opening act, one D. Rascal.)

  9. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    @dog door: What does Skinner’s cocaine usage have to do with anything?

    Oh. Gotcha.

  10. Aleb  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    I thought his second album is one of the best this decade?

    But yeah, his version sucks bad. The rest of the compilation is pretty good though.

  11. Rory B. Bellows  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    I kinda like it, in its heartfelt spoken word way. That said, it certainly does have a William Hung “Rocket Man” quality to it.

  12. Rob Murphy  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Agreed, that was horrendously bad. I’m not currently a “fan”, and I guarantee you that will make me actively avoid further exploring whether I want to be.

  13. Anonymous  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    @ Jess: so how would you compare it to Shatner’s version of “Rocket Man”?

  14. The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2007

    Kitten, want a Midol?

    Actually, that was funny to read.

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