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Kid Rock Teaches You How To Pitch Woo Like A Classy Dude

kidmugshot.jpgIn addition to his feelings on shepherd’s pie (good), assholes (bad), and marriage (mixed-blessing), Kid Rock opened up to The Guardian about the troubles that come with being a rap-rocking lothario. His advice to those looking to live and love the Kid Rock way? Have money and/or a hit record. And only hold the door for women who aren’t going to give it up on the first date.

There’s a big difference between a first date and a one-night stand. A first date: be kind, be respectful and have a great time. I pay for dinner and buy flowers. I believe in opening doors. The basics. A one-night stand: go for it. Turn it up to 10 and put the pedal to the metal.

Damn near enlightened by KR standards. But lest you think he had some sort of quasi-feminist epiphany on the tour bus, Kid is quick to note that there’s still a direct relationship between bouquet size and dress size.

The girls go with the record sales. You know, when your record sells 50,000 or 60,000 copies, you’re hooking up with bigger women in, like, Southern Ohio. Then 10m, 15m… when the sales went up, the girls got prettier.

Sigh. Don’t take this the wrong way, Bob, but we kinda hope your dick shrivels right off one morning. And then you write a whiny series of e-mails about it.

This Much I Know: Kid Rock [Guardian]

 
By jharv at 12:00 PM on Mon Nov 12 2007
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  • Clevertrousers

    Actually Bob, only the ugly dudes in bands need to sell records to get laid.

  • Rabi

    So selling 10m, 15m records must have been a personal hell for Lance Bass, huh?

  • SuperUnison

    You can get hot girls with no sales whatsoever by simply putting on an excellent live show. There's a much greater likeliehood that they will turn out to be insane/have more issues than a magazine stand but that's why it's rock and roll.

  • Ned Raggett

    when your record sells 50,000 or 60,000 copies


    That's more copies than most bands ever sell of all their records together in a lifetime.

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