The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: Welcome To A Very Expensive, Very Purple Bash

bravelypayloaded.jpgIt’s a new day, so let’s put politics aside and move on to the “Bad Photoshop” bracket in Idolator’s inaugural Worst Album Cover Of The Year tournament. In one corner, we have the No. 8 seed, Jennifer Lopez’s $60,000 ode to the power of sparkles. And in opposition, we have Perry Farrell’s Satellite Party, which shows that Mr. Farrell’s computer-art skillz are almost as good as his taste in guests. Whichever one wins, we know one thing: Staring at the above one-two punch means that our field of vision is going to be tinted purple for at least the next six hours or so!

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26 Responses to “The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: Welcome To A Very Expensive, Very Purple Bash”

  1. by TheContrarian at 1:22 am

    This from the guy who once created full-sized, paper machie twin sculptures of his girlfriend, then lit their heads on fire for an album cover. Which was, of course, followed by a sleeve featuring a paper machie menage-a-trois and sundry voodoo baubles and methadone prescriptions.

    Please take Photoshop away from Mr. Farrell.

  2. by science vs romance at 1:29 am

    the J. Lo one makes perfect vanity sense: I mean, who else is brave enough to face J. Lo than a photoshopped-up mirror image Jenny from the Block? The Satellite Party looks like someone dug up a stoner collage from 1987 and made it a little bit uglier.

  3. by twenty-four hour priapism at 1:31 am

    Oh come on people, what the hell? Are you not blown away by J-Lo’s insane narcissism? Did you notice it even says ‘Brave’ on the cover? This will be a ridiculous upset.

  4. by Cam/ron at 1:49 am

    It’s hard to say, J.Lo’s narcassism (or bipolarness) kills me but Perry Farrell still takes the prize. He should replace it with a quote from the First Amendment and a parental advisory sticker, and call the record “Ritual De Lo Habitual (Part Dos).”

  5. by Paula at 1:53 am

    See, I ended up going with J.Lo. because I can’t get over the price tag. No really, the Satellite cover is worse, the price tag on the J.Lo. one is what makes it truly awful. So, until someone comes out and says that the Satellite cover cost 75 grand for Blue Man Group paint, J.Lo. it is.

  6. by Sleepyhead at 2:09 am

    I’ve been looking forward to this competition all year. Satellite Party got my vote - it’s too dark, too hard to read, badly colored, the elements are all really badly shopped together. At least $60,000 buys you a once over from someone with experience in the the graphic department before printing starts.

  7. by Airsank at 2:10 am

    Well, you know what they say, “you gotta wear the fairy apparel if you wanna party with Perry Farrel.” True story.

  8. by sparkletone at 2:20 am

    This was definitely the first pairing that gave me pause. After careful consideration, I picked Satellite Party for the “mekka lekka” reasons others have mentioned.

  9. by Feh Am Legend at 2:43 am

    At least JLo looked like they hired a professional design team - hamfisted and tasteless though they may be. THECONTRARIAN is right, it looks PF whipped that up after getting back from yoga class and installing an old version of a Photoshop Filter Library.

  10. by TheMojoPin at 2:43 am

    As obnoxious as Lopez’ cover and title are, Perry beats this out by a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng mile. “Ultra Payloaded?” Jesus Christ.

  11. by AquaLung at 3:16 am

    Yeah, if “Ultra Payloaded” doesn’t win it all this year, there is something wrong.

    Let’s not forget the version of the “Payloaded” album cover we’re seeing here is the altered/kinda-improved version after 97% of the population vomited immediately when they saw the original.

  12. by NoNewYork at 9:44 am

    yeah, at least the prry farrell album reminds me of good things even if it is offensively bad. all jlo makes me think of is fucking face/off. or a cup. or two peoples faces.

  13. by dentist at 10:13 am

    Gah! This one is way too difficult.

  14. by Camp Tiger Claw at 10:14 am

    Mekka lekka hi, mekka hiney ho! Make a wish on Perry Farrell.

  15. by Nicolars at 10:21 am

    I voted for Jlo because the Satellite Party cover is at least hilariously bad, while her album cover is just obnoxious.

  16. by Ned Raggett at 10:27 am

    Satellite Party for me. Ms. Lopez was just too tasteful in comparison.

  17. by El Zilcho! at 10:33 am

    I totally forgot that there existed a band called Satellite Party. And how horribly bad their album cover was.

  18. by jetblackturd at 11:13 am

    The J Lo cover is photoshopped?! But…her face really is that shiny and that symmetrical. That’s why she’s a star, right?

  19. by The Van Buren Boys at 11:19 am

    The fact that the Jennifer Lopez cover cost $60,000 clinches it for me. The Satellite Party cover is bad, but I seriously doubt they dropped 60 grand on it.

  20. by Julio Allison at 11:25 am

    Does a Jennifer Lopez album and tour even generate $60K these days?

  21. by Weezy F Baby at 11:35 am

    i forsee Satellite Party going the distance.

  22. by Chris N. at 11:50 am

    I’ve decided that the font on the Satellite Party album at least vaguely suggests a semblance of a sense of humor, whereas the J. Lo cover seems to take itself entirely seriously. Ergo, my vote is for Mrs. Lo.

  23. by Jasonbob7 at 12:23 pm

    Going by pure crappiness, this one’s too close to call. So I’m basing my vote on pure sex appeal. J.Lo’s cover enables me to imagine two hot latina twins about to make out. Satellite Party’s cover just makes think that a member of the Blue Man Group got hooked on smack, kicked out of the show, and now trolls the streets for pigtailed hookers. My vote goes to Perry.

  24. by FionaScrapple at 10:06 am

    The Satellite Party cover is tragically offensive. Easy win.

  25. by sovietpanda at 11:12 am

    I think the font effects on the Satellite Party cover are hilarious. The J.Lo cover is way worse. Plus, knowing it cost that much money seals the deal.

  26. by Lucas Jensen at 11:19 am

    I just want to point out again that these are two execrable album TITLES. “Brave”? “Ultra Payloaded”? Yeesh.

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