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Stereogum released the results of its reader-voted “2007 Gummy Awards” today, and once again the winners in “Ms. Indie Rock” prove that when it comes to wank-mining material, your average indie-rocking male is looking for (gasp!) a skinny white girl with a shaggy haircut. Emphasis on the “skinny.” And did we mention the “white”? Aside from a few notable tokens exceptions, there are enough pointy elbows and too-sad-to-leave-the-house complexions here to fill up a year’s worth of American Apparel advertisements. Way to reject mainstream standards of beauty, dudes! The guy hotties list also features many downy, bony gents, yet somehow offers a slightly wider range of body types than the chick list’s parade of waifs. The full lists are after the jump, but first our thoughts on the least sexy year-end round-up of 2007.
THE GOOD: Not even going there.
THE BAD: Sure, you could pen a 10,000-word rant on how this list of female fantasy objects reflects indie rock’s insular ideals even when it comes to sex, but we’ll just say that sexism, stereotyping, and body image issues will no longer be a concern in indie culture when a lady who looks like Dan Deacon makes it into the Top 20.
THE WHAAAA? R&B queen Sharon Jones deserves to be on this list if anyone does, but aside from wrecking the curve in terms of both age and ethnicity, who in their right mind would class Ms. Jones as an “indie rock” hottie? (Also whoever voted for Natalie Portman needs their life changed with a boot in the ass.)
Chick Hotties
50 Elisa Ambrogio (Magik Markers)
49 Laura Burhenn (Georgie James)
48 Hesta Prynn (Northern State)
47 Jesca Hoop
46 Uffie
45 Jemina Pearl (Be Your Own Pet)
44 Scout Niblett
43 Mariqueen Maandig (West Indian Girl)
42 Natalie Portman
41 Grace Potter (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals)
40 Victoria Legrand (Beach House)
39 Victoria Bergsman (Taken By Trees)
38 Rosay (The Pipettes)
37 Amanda Palmer (The Dresden Dolls)
36 Ninja (The Go! Team)
35 Sharon Jones
34 Nicole Atkins
33 Robyn
32 Becky Stark (Lavender Diamond)
31 Laura Veirs
30 Amy Millan (Stars)
29 Kazu Makino (Blonde Redhead)
28 Gwenno (The Pipettes)
27 Shara Worden (My Brightest Diamond)
26 Amy Winehouse
25 Marissa Nadler
24 Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
23 Björk
22 Kathryn Calder (The New Pornographers/Immaculate Machines)
21 Meg White (The White Stripes)
20 Marnie Stern
19 Polly Jean Harvey (PJ Harvey)
18 Lovefoxxx (CSS)
17 Sara Quin (Tegan And Sara)
16 Kate Nash
15 Régine Chassagne (Arcade Fire)
14 Eleanor Friedberger (The Fiery Furnaces)
13 Karen O. (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
12 Regina Spektor
11 Lily Allen
10 Joanna Newsom
09 Tegan Quin (Tegan And Sara)
08 Natasha Khan (Bat For Lashes)
07 Emily Haines (Metric/Broken Social Scene)
06 Neko Case
05 Chan Marshall (Cat Power)
04 Maya Arulpragasam (M.I.A.)
03 Annie Clark (St. Vincent)
02 Jenny Lewis (Rilo Kiley)
01 Leslie Feist (Feist)
Dude Hotties
50 Naeem Juwon (Spank Rock)
49 Eddie Argos (Art Brut)
48 Chris Bear (Grizzly Bear)
47 Carl Newman (The New Pornographers)
46 Rufus Wainwright
45 James Mercer (The Shins)
44 Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age)
43 Morrissey
42 Blake Sennett (Rilo Kiley)
41 Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth)
40 Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead)
39 Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)
38 Will Oldham
37 Kele Okereke (Bloc Party)
36 Caleb Followill (Kings Of Leon)
35 Brandon Flowers (The Killers)
34 Colin Meloy (The Decemberists)
33 Jeff Tweedy (Wilco)
32 Mark Ronson
31 Ed Droste (Grizzly Bear)
30 Devendra Banhart
29 Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav)
28 Ted Leo
27 Ben Bridwell (Band Of Horses)
26 Paul Banks (Interpol)
25 Patrick Wolf
24 Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy)
23 Sam Beam (Iron & Wine)
22 Kanye West
21 Gregg Gillis (Girl Talk)
20 Will Sheff (Okkervil River)
19 Craig Finn (The Hold Steady)
18 Jack White (The White Stripes)
17 Bradford Cox (Deerhunter)
16 Dan Deacon
15 Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes)
14 Ryan Adams
13 Kevin Drew (Broken Social Scene)
12 Matt Berninger (The National)
11 James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem)
10 Win Butler (Arcade Fire)
09 Spencer Krug (Sunset Rubdown)
08 Andrew Bird
07 Noah Lennox (Animal Collective/Panda Bear)
06 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
05 Sufjan Stevens
04 Britt Daniel (Spoon)
03 Zach Condon (Beirut)
02 Kevin Barnes (of Montreal)
01 Jens Lekman
Indie Rock Hotties Of 2007 [Stereogum]
@pissy elliott:
but I read BUTT pissy!
I’m not sure why you focus so much on the apparent lack of diversity in the female list considering there are at least four women who aren’t white in the top 20 of that list while there are only three non white males in that whole list. Also, I’m pretty sure I would put Natalie Portman at the top of any list like this, regardless of whether or not she actually qualifies.
Wow, I spent way too much time thinking about this.
Thom Yorke = every woman’s fantasy.
Why didn’t they just name everyone? Jesus.
PJ Harvey blows ‘em all away. Sure, she’s easy on the eyes – by chance I stood next to her at a Go-betweens show at the Mercury Lounge once, and nearly went sterile. But there’s nothing to make a boy (or girl) privately mess their jeans like when Polly used to strap on that big guitar while in kick boots and a fur coat back in ‘92. After that show, I would have dry humped her if she looked like Don Rickles.
Annie Clark! My #1 for the year.
Rachel Cox (Oakley Hall), anyone? Anyone?
Thurston but no Malkmus? Fickle!
@Jfrankparnell: PJ Harvey lover, at least they threw a few brittle bones to us over-35 fetishists. [I mean, the girl from Be Your Own Pet must be 'barely legal.'] At the risk of starting a ‘cougar’ sub-thread [ugh], let’s toast our younger selves, when the likes of Mary Timony and Laura Ballance^ would’ve been Top 20 shoo-ins. Let’s flatter ourselves that we, in turn, are “still gettin’ it done”!
^ She started Arcade Fire and Spoon’s record label.
P.S. C’mon, it’s not like I said Grace Slick or something really sick.
Ew, ew ew. My gorge rises at the mention of Tegan and Sara. I REJECT you, indie world, after taking away too many years of my young life. At least there be some brown people in pop. And white people sounding like them. w00t!
Wow, the only people I find attractive on this entire list are gay! Male or female! Hmm.
Seriously, as with all lists, it’s once you get past the top 20 on either one that things get interesting.
@brownham: She’s all right (better a big lady who can work it than like, the anemic, unfortunate hairdo crowd), but Tegan and Sara are fiiiiine. And don’t forget Hesta Prynne!
Srlsy, obvs my difficulty in finding a nice young man is that I think that Kele Okerele, Rufus Wainwright, Owen Pallet, Morissey, and Mark Ronson are all way, way more hott than the flimsy young men in the dude top 10 (save Britt Daniel — natch!)
so then tell us weeping rich girl!
you love beth ditto or something?
oooh forgot about Tegan and Sara, tis true.
I’ll take kele and Owen, but mark ronson isn’t gay, is he?
Don’t forget other gay cutie ed droste.
Rufus however does less than nothing for me
Oh how about that girl from the Bastard Fairies? She’s trying too hard to get some attention. Its sad when these women sell their bodies to put out a record.
Well if we are gonna discuss this trivial shit..how about the ladies/lady from The Pierces, The Like,
Au Revoir Simone,
Asobi Seksu,Ladytron,Serena-Maneesh and Juliette Lewis??????????????????????????????????????????
Emily is so much hotter than Feist. Kevin Drew fucked up.
No mention of Pelle Almqvist on the men’s list!??
This is the most unfair and idiotic critique of a “hottest” list I’ve ever seen. There are several women on that list who are not stick thin (Beth Ditto? Amy Millan ain’t too waif-like either), and several who are not white. As for the predilection for paleness – what about the insane pressures all other lists of “hottest” women put on us girls to be tan? I happen to like that there are some guys out there who appreciate pale girls with no curves, and it’s fine if y’all don’t, but it’s incredibly rude to mock people as “lame” for being sexually attracted to women who deviate from the traditional norms of hotness (tan, curvy, etc.)
@gregcoff: Really, I needn’t have said all of that when I could have just agreed with you. Well said, and much more politely than I said it.
Probably the unsexiest shit ever published.
@brownham: I have been waiting for ages to post this on a Gawker site: Mark Ronson’s mouth is made for blowjobs. If he digs chicks, I’m a Chinese jet pilot.
Aww. Ed Droste! I forgot about him!
Rufus is, sadly, my platonic ideal of adorableness. Which means I’m gonna be a hard-up spinster FOREVER.
@CoachHogan: For reals. Anyone waiting for the Stereogum community to overthrow the patriarchy is going to be waiting a long time.
Ugh! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could Stereogum forget Amber Valentine(Jucifer) what because shes not a “indie poptart”??!!!
I’ve seen her live and she rocks and is beautiful. Also how could Stereogum not mention Mel Draisey from Clientele..I have seen her live and under the stage lights she looks like a real life take your soul angel or Scandanavian princess
Call Me Shirley by Molly Lambert Shirley MacLaine and Billy Wilder on the set of The Apartment, from fabulous film journal Cinebeats, written by mod babe Kimberly Lindbergs Whoa huh wait, women aren’t hilarious free-associating slacker-stoner-doofuses?
Carlos D. is the only hot member of Interpol, though I do. not. get. his choice in facial hair.
Isn’t this the type of thing that’s not supposed to get you mad after sophomore year of college?
Victoria Mazze of The Divine Madness should be on this list….