The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Is On The Long And Winding Road (To Metal Poisoning)

lickthepavement.jpgAnd here it is, the final battle in the second round of our tournament. Will the winner be Helalyn Flowers and their unsantiary habits when it comes to sharing tasty metallic treats? Or will it be Brad Paisley, who at least knows enough to keep the chrome on his hideous font out of his mouth? Cast your vote for over-Photoshopped goth or under-designed country after the jump!

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  1. Ned Raggett  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    I like how this matchup isn’t even a contest. Not one comment debating the merits so far.

  2. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Has ANYBODY figured out what’s going on in the Heavenly Flowers cover?

    I know of Tartabullshit’s (f/k/a Camp Tiger Claw) “Norelco Goth” comment, but seriously… What the hell is going on there?!

  3. summeroflove  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Who THINKS up that crap?? (helalyn) That also is so misunderstood goth high school art project.

  4. Paula  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    @Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Nope.

    Christ, that really hurts my eyes.

  5. queensissy  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Brad’s looks amazingly like an unsolicited CD demo cover (”PLEASE CHECK OUT MY MUSIC! THANKX!”), but yeah, I still have to go with the cyborg biscuit barf.

  6. Camp Tiger Claw  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    @Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: For the record I have no idea why I’m no longer Camp Tiger Claw.

    Helalyn Flowers: It sucks as it cuts.

  7. Tenno  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    sigh, voted for Paisley’s because had it just been that faded pic of him on the highway with minimal (zero even?) text, I could have liked it.

  8. El Zilcho!  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Helalyn Flowers does disgust me, but Fifth Gear is such a lazy cover attempt. Queensissy is right, it looks like some crummy singer/songwriter’s demo. Laziness wins for me, though I wouldn’t be mad to see Helalyn Flowers move on.

  9. rad_matter  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    I feel bad that the awfulness of the cover of A Voluntary Coincidence has finally hit me now.

  10. Anonymous  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    The cover subject is coming and going at the same time! Psychedelic water coloured guitar that doubles as the road markings! Man who looks like a deer caught in the headlights! And don’t forget to slap his face on the cover so his ignorant fans can swoon over how (ahem) cute he is. This one screams designed by committee to me. At least Helen Flowers had a vision and stuck with it, even if it was eating a motor oil flavoured icicle…

  11. The Illiterate  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Maybe this, from the band’s website, will explain it: “Innovate, Annihilate and Join the Schizophrenic E-Race Generation now… Give them your digital blood and HELALYN FLOWERS will be your guide!”

    Uh, guess not.

  12. Maura Johnston  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Am I the only person who thinks that the Flowers are chewing on a specially designed PS2 controller?

  13. Anonymous  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    Because I remember their competitor, the goddamn bloody strawberry steak, Helalyn Flowers win.

  14. Sleepyhead  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    They’re chewing on a tiny reel to reel tape recorder? No, its two of those little cans that moo like a cow when you turn them over. But all chrome and industrialed.

  15. Anonymous  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    HF is a trifecta of terrible – album cover, band name, AND album name. What the hell does “A Voluntary Coincidence” mean? Is that some kind of pun?

  16. Anonymous  |   Posted on Dec 20th, 2007

    Are you guys serious? Brad Paisley’s cover is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like him, his guitar playing, his son, his voice, and his sense of humor. How can they say it is under-desinged? Did you know Brad drew the picture of him on the highway? I think that’s really cool, to have a singer that takes the time to not just take pictures, but do graphic art on thier cd. Also, if you open the cd there is a picture representing each song.( Brad also did that) In fact, Brad desinged the whole cover. I think it’s the best cover yet. Besides, they be on a highway, the album is called 5th GEAR.

  17. science vs romance  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    the cheapness of Paisley offends me more than the hideousness of Healyn Flowers. (If, however, this were a “worst band name of the year” contest, H.F. would run away with it.)

  18. Chris N.  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2007

    If Helalyn Flowers wins, do I have to see it again?

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