This is it, the final battle in our Southest Bracket, down to two-headed Helalyn Flowers and twice-hatted Toby Keith. Will Toby put a boot up the electro-goths’ asses or will the Italian duo fell another American country star after slaying Brad Paisley in the last round? And remember: this could be your last chance to puzzle over the mystery that is the Helalyn cover!
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The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Wants You To Lick The Santa Hat
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DIFFICULT. The Toby Keith is really no worse than any Starbucks-appointed holiday comp, and the Helalyn Flowers is really no worse than anything Projekt put out in the 1990s. But then, they’re both atrocious. Can I vote twice?
Wait, wait, I got it–I’m going with Helalyn Flowers because I can’t stand looking at that cracker’s fat head anymore. Who’s with me?
As a hyper-Projekt defender, I must protest. Art-gauze covers, sure, but drooling machinery covers?
I know TK is a right wing chimp, but his album cover is not that bad.
At first I thought that this match-up already had taken place until I scrolled back and saw that it was against Brad Paisley. That might say a lot about the Toby Keith cover, actually. I’m still in camp Helalyn because the cover just annoys me. My theory is that those are fishing reels.
I’ve never zoomed into the cover out of sheer cowardice, however, now that I’ve taken a closer look, they’ve got to be biting into a couple of juicy rims.
Rims=hip-hop
hip-hop=mainstream
They’re consuming the mainstream.
@summeroflove: My theory is they’re chewing on revolvers.
I think TK’s cover is more lazy then bad. Helalyn gets my vote.
OK, get this… I went searching for Helalyn Flowers websites in an attempt to make sense of that cover. It turns out she does the artwork herself. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse.
Who’s NØemi? - She’s the creator of all vocals and acid-delirious lyrics for Helalyn Flowers, Nu-electro rock band from Italy. She’s also interveins in rhythm patterns , software and delay obsessions, synthetic loops and various lead interferences. Known for her exsplosive, sensual and biting figure, she’s the responsible of all the DGTal art and visual creations, starting from the graphics, make-up, illustrations, cd artwork, website, photography direction and post-production. She cooperate as art-director and illustrator for various spots and Italian companies. She also worked as dancer and singer with musical-art institutes, touring in Europe now and then within 2000/2002. She’s definitively totally devoting to her band Helalyn Flowers, working for their full lenght and planning a tour in a city near you! [www.myspace.com]
Oh wait, there’s more!
What is it about Rome that transformed Max and N0emi into total human-defective hybrids? This… we may never know! In 2004, it was decided that a drastic lobotomy was a last resort to eradicate their chronic allergy to the world’s pathetic artificiality. It was the drive on an immense self-destructive instinct that led both Italian artists to erase their nu-metal past and to give birth to the Electro-Alienating Beat Rock band known as…HELALYN FLOWERS. [vampirefreaks.com]
It all makes sense now… they’re human-defective hybrids.
Good Christ, I hate goths.
@DigitalLogic: In light of the helpful explanation above, good GOD do I wish they were chewing on revolvers! As a matter of fact *I* want to chew on a revolver now.
“Known for her exsplosive, sensual and biting figure…” a-HA!
I voted for Helalyn Flowers before I knew they were members of this “Vampire Freaks” place. I’m surprised they don’t spell vampire with a y.
I’m not at all surprised that I voted for them over Toby.
I think Helalyn Flowers can be the dark horse in this competition. Also, the girl on the right looks like Kathy Najimy.
going with the toby keith. cowboy style just looks worse then goth / emo style. both are equally bad. but not bad enough to win.
You know, it’s got to be a final shootout between Helalyn Flowers and the Nuge, dontcha think? No other matchups even come close to this scenario.
That’s what I call a boxed set. Git it on!
@tigerpop: Good point.