Happy Birthday, Rod Stewart (Maybe You’re Not As Awful As We Thought)

lockupyourdaughtersitsrodstewart.jpgHappy 63rd birthday, Rod Stewart. You’re going through an odd era as far as your status among critics goes, with appreciation for the Faces on the rise, while nearly everything that followed only seeming to chase trends and, in the words of Rolling Stone, “become a bilious self-parody.” While one would be justified in questioning a tribute to you, considering your later work–including the seemingly endless tribute to the “American Songbook,” which was wildly popular with my mother-in-law and sold incredibly well for being a sign of the apocalypse–everyone, no matter how severe their aesthetic crimes, deserves recognition on their birthday. So here’s ours…

Since we didn’t make it to the model train store before it closed last night, the best thing we can offer is the four minutes and twenty-three seconds of your one tolerable ’80s hit, 1981’s “Young Turks”.

Rod, even with your tenure in the Faces and the occasional interesting moments of your solo career to consider, I think you could help your long-term legacy greatly by just issuing a blanket apology for your daughter, Kimberly. A simple “I regret the trouble I solved by ever helping to conceive her” would suffice.

Smiler - The Rod Stewart Fanclub [Official site]

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18 Responses to “Happy Birthday, Rod Stewart (Maybe You’re Not As Awful As We Thought)”

  1. by iantenna at 1:27 am

    @Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: humble pie > faces > rolling stones

  2. by dollywould at 1:29 am

    “Stay With Me” is one of my favorite songs of all time.

  3. by iantenna at 2:04 am

    @heidiho: a real feminist anthem that one. “i’ll even pay your cab fare home just don’t be here in the morning when i wake up.”

  4. by dollywould at 2:28 am

    @iantenna: Heh, if you’re willing to sleep with Rod Stewart, I doubt you’re much of a feminist.

  5. by Adairdevil at 3:55 am

    [www.dailymotion.com]

    You’re welcome.

  6. by BestEuphemismEver at 6:57 am

    His duet with Helicopter girl a few years back was quite unexpectedly ace.

  7. by Dickdogfood at 9:21 am

    Hey hey hey–”Some Guys Have All The Luck” was another rare 80s moment when he coated his vulnerability with a bright ‘n’ shiny gloss and it didn’t turn into the suck.

  8. by Dickdogfood at 9:23 am

    Also, is “HUGE IN BRAZIL” a reference to the Jorge Ben Jor lawsuit or what?

  9. by Dan Gibson at 9:27 am

    @dickdogfood: He’s a big star there, apparently. You know, like Lionel Richie in Iraq.

  10. Faces > The Rolling Stones

    God damn, I love that band.

  11. by Thierry at 10:12 am

    Is there anything sadder than an aging rocker whose voice is barely a shadow of its former self?

    [www.youtube.com]

    Even sung in a lower key, poor Rod can’t hit the mid-range notes…

  12. by Dan Gibson at 10:21 am

    @Thierry: Is it better to burn out or fade away?

  13. by Philonius_Louvin at 11:16 am

    You’re right about Young Turks… it is Rod’s one tolerable hit. I wish he’d return to the days of destroying his own songs and not those of Tom Waits, Van Morrison, Dylan, etc

  14. by FionaScrapple at 11:24 am

    I would let Rachel Hunter tie my shoes.

  15. by Scratcher at 12:01 pm

    Paris and Bangkok/Lot of people ain’t got… passion.

    Pure poetry.

  16. by yetimike at 8:39 am

    …the fuck is this based on, really?

    the 1st 4 solo rod records are actually pretty great, and easy to find cheap (at least lp versions).

    i didn’t like his disco era stuff at the time, but it’s aged fairly well i think.

  17. by Dan Gibson at 11:05 am

    @yetimike: The Mercury records are pretty solid. I was only complaining about the 80’s and beyond.

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