Idolator

I miss David Letterman going "Yes!" at the end.

ANOTHER greatest hits???? Holy shit! Reissue, reissue, repackage indeed....

He worked this magic tune on the Carson Daley show. There IS a reason to watch strike-casualty fizzled talkshows.

Again? I'm starting to think 'Paint A Vulgar Picture' was actually intended as a Career Manifesto.

I used to like Morrissey as a teenager, but now I hear lines like 'I'm so hideously, hideously ugly' and burst into laughter recognising it for the self-obsessed, miserablist teen-angst rubblish it is. Huh, I guess that *is* how people grow up.

I think most people miss how hilarious Morrissey is.

Young, fabulous and miserable = good
Old, still fabulous but self-recycling = not so much

I have no idea what's going on with Morrissey's latest batch of new material. Ringleader of the Tormentors, while admittedly insane, was at least bombastic. This is just bad.

At least the track features Kristeen Young, wailing away (as usual) like a murdered child. I'm surprised they kept her vocal on there after she joined his long list of ex-proteges, but I love the woman so I don't complain. She shows up wearing something sewn of plastic, with a brave hairdo that falls apart after two songs because of excessive head-whipping, and improves things.

Anyway, as a fan, I will say this for Morrissey: he makes multilingual puns on his tour shirts and he has never made an effort to make himself look more reasonable than he is. This more than redeems him on the days when he's not funny and clever.

I will not, however, say that this song is anything other than phoned straight in from his planet, where he worked DAMNED HARD for all he's got and "I Just Want To See The Boy Happy" is a surefire hit. Also, he's not losing his hair there. Once he got off the phone, he went and watched Emmerdale, as happy as a seal.
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(The tour shirts said "je suis Morrissey," or "I Am Morrissey," only if you say it quickly it sounds like "je suis mort ici," which means "I'm dead here" or "I died here." Isn't that better than the entire lyric to "That's How People Grow Up?")

Anyone seen Morissey lately? He looks like Robbie Williams' dad...

Unless this cover was his decision, his new label appears bent on ensuring that *nobody* sees Morrissey lately. That photo's at least twelve years old. So's the one on the single cover. What about the videos? Will the be shot though a thick, billowing gauze curtain?

I know it's unusual for a man of his years to be doing anything in rock (generally, I believe, you're supposed to graciously disappear at forty and then reappear at sixty to offer your thoughts on death) but it seems strange, especially for a dude whose fans will still tear each other apart for a sniff of his sweaty shirt.

The other question is why the cover of the Greatest Hits makes him look like he's receiving fellatio, but that answer's simpler: Morrissey has been receiving fellatio nonstop since 1979. The fact that no one knows this is a testament to the greatest cover-up in rock history.