Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is “decades old” and has long been in the clutches of an “entity” who has tried to “blackmail and extort” Simmons in the past with the threat of revealing to the world the guy enjoys artificially enhanced blondes, the missionary position, and leaving his shirt on during coitus.
While we’re not quite sure how exactly one would go about dating a sex tape–has this idea really not yet been tapped for a ripped-from-the-headlines task for the nerdy Law And Order crime lab tech?–Gene does seem to be covered considering his sexin’ soundtrack, Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is,” was indeed released decades ago. He’d be totally busted if he was banging to, say, that Hilary and Haylie Duff cover of “Our Lips Are Sealed.” [Sleaze Roxx]
Not that I should really even have to say this or have a stake in this shit at all, but it’s not like those songs couldn’t have just been blaring out from any number of soft-rock stations today.
But really, who gives a fuck?
At what point? do we see Chaim Klein Witz(aka) Gene Simmons as the desperate for any attention, Novelty act that he was. I think he got ever cent, he could out of the “Kiss”Phenom. But that was 1000 years ago.
I have no problem with shameless self promotion, and whoring your self for a buck….. But isnt the sad part that we still, buy from a man that has nothing to sell.
The real question: is the bimmed-out blonde also decades old? As I recall, she’s a current spokesmodel for an energy drink in Australia and is only something like 19 or 20 years old. If this tape were decades old, she’d be oh….all of like 3 years old when this was made.