An open letter to Avril Lavigne and the executives of the Kohl’s Corporation:
My daughter was born in December, and like any parent, I’m concerned about what sort of woman my little girl will become. It’s a tricky world to navigate as a parent, between frequent airings of The Hills on MTV and the fact that I’m married to a woman, who despite being generally wonderful, doesn’t recognize the genius of Shaun Ryder. I just have to say, you people aren’t helping with your recently announced new line of clothing blending “an authentic rock ‘n’ roll attitude with a feminine edge” , so if you wouldn’t mind, could you keep your damn clothes away from my daughter? If she ends up looking for “rock ‘n’ roll attitude”, I’d hope she develops it herself, instead of from a photocopy of a poorly duplicated original.
Thanks for your help!
Dan Gibson
[WWD]
Avril would have made a great pop country singer. But, yeah, she is neither authentic nor rock ‘n’ roll.
I thought her whole wardrobe was from Hot Topic?
I’m rarely into advocating violence, but for frak’s sake, can someone just off this girl? She has no talent other than being an entitled, poseur, douchebagette.
@kityglitr: See, I’ll disagree inasmuch I think technically she’s a good singer (ymmv). Or rather, it’s not her voice that is so hate-worthy.
I am sure Avril will create a clothing line that is worthy of the ethos to which her very existence is a living testament.
“I’m not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. What kind? Feng shui, mostly, and energy. I’m good at picking up people’s energy, like I’m receptive or something.”
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”
Quotes taken from here: [farm2.static.flickr.com]
Can I coin the word “hookerduds”?
Yeah, and Kohls sucks. Keep the girls out of the men’s dressing rooms (you reverse-discriminating negligent twerps). Oh, and pick up the clothes off the floor– it’s what you’re paid for.
@kityglitr: Agreed, and +10% XP for the use of “frak”.