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The German goth-pop band Tokio Hotel is like some sort of nightmarish blend of Evanescence, t.A.T.u., and the Jonas Brothers, with just a hint of Adam Duritz’s dreadlocked aesthetic thrown in for good measure. It’s the kind of band that would never exist without the Internet, and I’d have remained blissfully unaware of its existence if not for a fateful run-in with its fanbase on Tuesday morning here in Madrid, which, thanks to my uncle, was captured on video as a record of what might be the most unwarranted mania in the history of pop music. And that’s including LFO and Limp Bizkit.
My family is visiting me this week, and at around 10:30 on Tuesday morning I was dutifully marching them down calle San Jeronimo to the Prado museum, which houses an impressive collection of works by Titian, Velazquez, Rubens, and Goya. But fate, it seemed, had loftier plans. We’d gotten about ten steps out of their hotel when we hit barricades and a mass of Hot Topic preteens*. At the very second we approached the crowd, it let loose a collective shriek, the likes of which I have not heard since Jingle Ball toyed with the hearts and minds of Long Island’s biggest Jonas Brothers fans. Needless to say, we were startled and confused, and I think I caught a couple of people laughing at us for for literally jumping back in reaction to the caterwauling. As it turned out, the crowd was gathered in front of a hotel awaiting the arrival of Tokio Hotel, and the sudden hubbub was a reaction to the approaching tour buses, which happened to pull up just as we were walking by.
Since we couldn’t get past the crowd, we stood and watched the mayhem for about fifteen minutes with some equally bewildered Japanese tourists who were also en route to the Prado. Luckily my uncle had his camera on hand to document the madness. Here’s the video, which isn’t much to see beyond general pandemonium, but at the 2:30 mark there’s some footage of a phone conversation that gets pretty amusingly emotional.
After it became apparent that Tokio Hotel was not emerging from the bus anytime soon, we decided to cross the street and reluctantly surrender our day to great works of art. Needless to say, the incident inspired a bout of curious Googling, the results of which both disturbed and perplexed me. As it turns out, this is what all the shrieking was for…
Look, I understand the appeal of provocative girly boys. Men who play up their feminine qualities inspire the most manic fandom among a certain subset of pop fans. But come on! Those two in the middle (they’re twins, by the way) make Panic at the Disco look like the starting defensive line of a fireman’s league football team. It’s not that they’re girly. It’s that they look just like girls, which in general is totally fine and their business, but I fail to understand it on a teenybopper appeal level.
And then there’s the music itself. Oh, boy.
I will never understand the appeal of leaden alt-rock, much less how it could ever sneak into the J-14 arena. Seriously, this song is so boring. Imagine if you were thirteen and having a pool party and you put this on the stereo system. Your guests would drown themselves to escape the maudlin dreariness.
Their English-language offerings aren’t any more entertaining:
But it seems that the band has got something going for them that’s even more important than enjoyable music: a good publicity team. Their YouTube channel hosts a large spread of promotional videos documenting their endless publicity tour around the world. The most interesting thing about these videos is hearing the twins’ deep German dude voices.
Oddly enough, the New York Times seems to think they’re just the cutest little things.
The occasion was the first New York performance by Tokio Hotel, a German act that scrambles musical categories in a way that feels ideally suited to the current era. Why shouldn’t fans go nuts for a goth-punk boy band influenced by the darkly theatrical love songs of HIM (from Finland) and AFI (from California) and led by a sexy androgyne with spectacular hair? Why shouldn’t the members of Tokio Hotel be given a chance to bring their not-quite-idiomatic refrains — “We are here tonight/Leave the world aside” — to the United States?
As this paragraph implies, it is a free country, and young girls have every right to strain their vocal chords over whomever they please. But at some point you have to wonder if “why not?” is good enough. While Tokio Hotel can, and, by every means, should write and perform music to be enjoyed by whomever is up to the challenge, it’s a shame that groups like The Spinto Band don’t have the kind of publicity machine to thrust them into international super-stardom. Because if this song…
… were just as likely to be played at some suburban thirteen-year-old’s pool party than “Monsoon,” the world would be a much happier place.
Tokio Hotel [Official Site]
A Wild Welcome to a German Teen-Pop Band [NYT]
The Spinto Band [Official Site]
* I wonder what the equivalent to Hot Topic is here in Spain? I’ll get back to you on that.
I’m 17 years old. I listened to some Tokio Hotel songs just recently. They’re not too bad but they are not as amazing as some other people make them out to be either. But I do disagree with the blogger concerned; they’re not that lame. But then again they are not that great either.
I’m surprised about the fact that he(the blogger) is actually bothering to criticize Tokio Hotel when he can clearly pick on things called Justin Bieber and The Jonas Brothers. Tokio Hotel won’t seem too girly to you after you actually hear those girls out. Plus, it is really tiring about the way everyone’s going about the way they’re so annoying and girly and dreary and blah blah blah.
These ppl are 21 to around 23 years old, from what I hear. One should give them thumbs up for the fact that their music isn’t exactly boring nor are their lyrics super dumb. They make sense, they’re slightly more matured than many musicians of their age. True their music isn’t remarkable(to me at least) but then again how many singers nowadays are that great? They just happen to be making music a few degrees higher in standard compared to other musicians(which is a great accomplishment for artists so young). Add to that the looks, (no matter what you say ) which are unique. Then you have the good stage performance. So there’s nothing surprising about many ppl liking them. What is surprising to me is that how ppl like Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and other such trashy artists are actually famous.
Many good bands should get the spotlight. But sadly, not that many ppl know about them or other equally talented bands.
I luv TH!
Just read the idea and went gosh, I’m sure why I was poor inside debate class. – It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune. – Woody Allen Born 1935
Okay here’s the thing
You’re a human being, you KNOW that “good music” is an opinion based thing, You can’t even begin to compare the Jonas Brothers or anything like that to Tokio Hotel. Why? Because they’re COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
No, Spring Nicht would probably not be played at a pool party (unless it was like a TH party or something) Because it’s not a hyped up song. It’s obvious that deeper music isn’t your thing. Also, did you even bother to find out what the lyrics of the song mean? The point of that song was to be expressive- EXPRESS EMOTIONS.
And, I personally dislike their English Music only because Bill’s accent ruins it for me, and because the lyrics aren’t as meaningful, or completely different in some cases. So yeah, i wouldn’t even go there.
Now, addressing their looks.
1. They were both born feminine guys. they’re skinny twigs. No one’s fault. They eat a crap ton. Still skinny. And they happen to have really pretty, feminine faces.
2. That picture was old, They’re much older now. Yes, Bill is very much into fashion, makeup, shoes. But this isn’t something he did for the Band’s image. You can find pictures of Him as a very young kid, dressing different, wearing makeup, with piercings, making his own clothes. He’s always been that day. Oh but Tom isn’t girly at all now, nor was he then minus the fact that he was skinny, so i don’t even know where you were getting that from.
3. The fans arent drawn to them just for their look, their image. I am friends with a lot of fellow fans and the truth is, they all have their individual favorite songs, which are usually varied in feel and style, and their own favorite time period for TH because no, they aren’t perfect. No, we don’t worship the ground they walk on, in fact, i know every single fan has cringed and been totally freaked out by them before. WHy? Because they’re people- they change. they go through phases.
4. I applaud Tokio Hotel for their daring nature. There is no way that their image or style is for promotion of the band. Back in the beginning of their career, they got turned down a few times because “They were too weird, their name was too weird, no one would go for their style” and they wouldn’t make money. BUT there was Jost, who saw potential. No matter how many times they would’ve gotten turned down, they have talent, they would easily find another record producer.
That’s my rant y’all.