Last night’s American Idol was a bumpy ride, complete with misguided song choices, false starts, and gross pandering to the “America First” crowd. But it was a notable episode for one key reason. A new front-runner emerged: David Cook, whose strategy of picking songs that other rock bands have covered and then making those covers “his own” reached its pinnacle with his version of Chris Cornell’s version of “Billie Jean.”
1. David Cook. His performance of “Chris Cornell’s version of ‘Billie Jean’” was anything but my cup of tea–I likened it to “the worst parts of Chris Cornell, mixed with a heaping of Scott Stapp” to a friend–and the judges really need to listen to some music from the last 10 years, because so far every “original” version of a song he’s done was first arranged by someone else. But his turning the Idol stage into something vaguely resembling a rock club, instead of a massive televised talent show that rewards Mariah-style vocal noodling over all else, gave him the top spot.
2. Michael Johns. “We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions” is a hoary song that’s been done to death, but he pulled it off well. And yes, I’m probably giving him sympathy points because he is o-l-d. But he deserves even more because his backup singers were absolutely awful, and they nearly capsized the performance with their screwup of the pre-chorus.
3. Syesha Mercado. On a night with a lot of dismal song choices and even worse performances, Syesha stuck out by picking a big belter and not screwing it up. If she does the baby imitation one more time, though, I may have to downgrade her on principle.
4. Jason Castro. As Simon pointed out, his Sting performance was a little late-night-dorm-room, but it was fine, further setting him up for a top-six exit and an opening slot on the next Jack Johnson tour. And really, for the judges to say that he needs to expand his repertoire… have they looked at the Billboard charts lately? Then again, these are the same people who booted Josiah Leming in favor of Luke Menard, so all bets are off.
5. Chikezie. The judges slammed Chikezie’s Luther Vandross performance for not being “modern,” but with every week, every comment to David Cook about his “originality,” every suck-up to David Archuleta, you realize more and more that the judges really don’t know anything about modern music. He was fine, he worked the crowd, he missed a few notes. His performance wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible, and it surely didn’t deserve the wrath that it received.
6. Brooke White. A false start, an arrangement that started off light and then got completely gloppy, and the creepy-stalker lyrics of “Every Breath You Take” all worked against her.
7. Carly Smithson. I shudder to think what the song lists were for each contestant, since so many of the performances last night were of songs that have been burned out to a crisp by the world. Did the Idol producers run through Oxygen’s “Karaoke On Demand” channel for inspiration? Because Carly’s version of “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” earned way too many mental comparisons to drunk chicks at Sing Sing simply by virtue of her picking that Bonnie Tyler track. It’s unfair, but as the judges say, song choice is important.
8. David Archuleta. No, really: What was that song? It really did sound like David had been beamed in from a Star Search episode from 1990 instead of born in that year. Cheesy on every level, and I’m sure that the introduction of his girlfriend last night caused a few of his preteen fans to flip to the Jonas Brothers on ABC in order to stave off their tears.
(Also: Anyone notice how Ryan and Simon made references to David’s father, with Simon going so far as to claim that Daddy Dearest was the one calling the shots? I’m guessing those rumors of his overbearting stage presence aren’t untrue in the slightest.)
9. Ramiele Malubay. Continuing the “bad song choice” theme, Ramiele’s voice got completely swallowed up by Heart’s “Alone”–and her standing stock-still during the entire performance didn’t help. She looks more deer-in-headlights on the Idol stage with each passing week.
NOT RANKED: Kristy Lee Cook. Congratulations, longtime Confederacy fan Kristy Lee Cook. By singing “God Bless The USA,” you managed to make the most cynical competitive choice in the entire history of televised singing programs ever. And by not muffing it like you did to every song you chose every week prior to this one, you really did give people the opportunity to say “what, do you hate America?” to anyone who dared raise the fact that you suck out loud. Well done. I can’t wait until next week–country week!–because you’re so going to come out in a red white and blue sequined bikini. And cowboy boots, since you’ll probably sing that Toby Keith song about sticking boots in all comers’ asses.
WHO’S GOING HOME: Ramiele and David are safe because of their fanbases, and Kristy is safe because it’s American Idol, so I’m going to say Carly. Because what this competition needs is more blandness!
PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 9.6/10. She babbled and bobbed and weaved, and at one point I thought she was actually sleeptalking. I knew from the beginning of the show–when I got a look at her dress and it seemed to be on backwards, or at least turned around slightly–that last night was going to be a doozy, and, well, it was.
When Brooke sang ‘Every Breath You Take’ as a love ballad, I kept thinking “Don’t you know what this song is about?” And then I realized I had thought the line “poor heart aches” was “pool hall aches” and realized my mishearing was better.
I’d have swapped Castro and Brooke in your rankings, Maura. They’re both guilty of being appealing only when they do one type of song–him with his guitar, her with her piano–but I get the sense Castro can’t even imagine what it means to arrange a song or to have a band behind him. I think the guy is truly clueless about songwriting and performing and belongs at a beachside bonfire covering “Redemption Song” or “Uncle John’s Band”. Brooke, on the other hand, has something going on. Her songs aren’t particularly daring but I still think she thinks about them. She’s got some kind of self-confidence that none of the other contestents have. (In fact, I think it’ll be Cook vs Brooke at the end.)
I’m 70% sure Carly sang “living in a power keg.”
@scott pgwp: “In fact, I think it’ll be Cook vs Brooke at the end.”
I certainly hope so. The only other contestant I’m mildly interested in is Syesha.
@scott pgwp: Part of what I get from Brooke - and from David Cook as well, which is a bit shocking considering how low he started on the Top 24 ladder - is this ability to almost make you almost forget you are watching Idol and not part of a proper live performance. Both look like pros up there (if not quite seasoned ones just yet) instead of talent-show kids, state-fair/NRA-rally singers, or budding celebrities. Also, I give points to Brooke for AUDIBLY playing an instrument instead of placing so low in the mix it might as well not be there…
Also, what was with that thick, thick layer of reverb on Syesha and Chikezie’s voices?
The photo of David Cook above doesn’t really show this, but — last night, I watched “AI” in HD (which I usuallly forget is an option, ’cause most reality shows aren’t in HD). Anyway, during David’s close ups, I swear you could make out residue on his forehead that looked like dried glue, which I’m assuming is used to cement his bangs into place.
Also, Jason Castro was sporting a sleazy little mustache that was poking through the pancake makeup — it made him look like those skinny guys I went to high school with who would wear Copenhagen tin hats and pretend they were driving motorbikes whenever they walked down the hall.
I’m a bit late with this — couldn’t hang for it last nite — but…
Have you seen the DialIdol numbers?
HOLY CRAP!
David C., David A., and Carly are all “green”, and the bottom three are:
8) Ramiele
9) Jason
10) Chikezie
Comment on “American Idol” Is Starting To Believe That David Cook Is The One I never really thought it was the originality of the arrangement that
mattered as much as the execution of the song. It would seem odd and a little
tedious to announce the history of the song, who’s version of who’s version is
being performed. You guys are being way too critical and maybe a little anal about
this. Is it reallyl that important? It’s just a talent show–it’s not the
first and it won’t be the last.
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Home.
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David is following Daughtery in his ripping off. We all rememeber his totally orginal take on LIVE’s I Walk The Line.
And what was blurred out on KLC’s mom’s shirt?
Two things I liked probably more than I should: Brooke’s false start, which was kind of charming, and Michael’s double A-side medley, which I should’ve seen coming but totally didn’t, and worked out really well. When he started, I thought it was going to be a rerun of Ace Young’s screechy “We Will Rock You” from Season 5, but he really switched gears into “We Are The Champions” perfectly.
I really do miss Bo Bice.
Michael looked like he was auditioning for the touring company of We Will Rock You with that performance. And he probably would’ve gotten the part.
If KLC doesn’t do the Toby Keith song for Country Week or some other post-9-11 hit like “Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)” or “Have You Forgotten” - which I fully expect her to do - she could sing Garth’s cover of “Shameless”…
Re: Paula — don’t forget the long gloves! That made the outfit super-wacko!
Re: Carly — it wasn’t just a lame song choice, she blew it. And it should have been totally in her wheelhouse. She missed notes, and she also missed the trick of that song, which is that the blasty parts sound much better if you rein yourself in early on. She turned it up to 11 within the first half-verse and never stopped shouting. I’m so proud of Randy and Simon for ripping her on that one.
I’m also proud of Simon for giving Archuleta total, unrestrained shit for that song choice, and his “theme park” comment was the most perfect of the night.
I have a theory about the top three, and — apropos of this Obama year — I’m afraid it has something to do with race. I think Syesha and Chikezie, despite their good performances (excellent in Syesha’s case), might be in trouble for picking songs that only scraped the R&B charts (I looked — they weren’t even big hits there) and never appeared on the Hot 100 at all. I’d like to be wrong, because I liked both of them. But this show has a history of punishing Showtime at the Apollo-style song choices.
Sorry — I meant “bottom three” in the comment above. My theory is that Syesha and/or Chikezie could end up there, unfairly.
@Chris Molanphy: Thank you for pointing this out. Here and elsewhere, this year’s “Idol” racial politics, far more blatant than that Bottom Three that raised Elton John’s ire in 2004, have gone largely ignored. Every week, the non-white performers (Chikezie, Ramiele and Syesha) have been clumped together in either the first or last half hour. (Jason Castro broke them up this week, but they were still all done by 8:30.) And the judges/producers seemed to have pegged Chikezie, the only black male in the Top 24, as a goner who’s overstayed his welcome. Seeing how this season resembles an horrific Hollister ad, I’m rooting for all three to stay in, even though the powers that be clearly want them gone, in favor of something more marketable. Not for nothing have AI’s best-selling records come from pretty white girls. Sadly, I fear Chikezie or Ramiele is done for tonight; probably the former.
When will David Cook have his “shocking” elimination? And how soon will he be opening for Daughtry? Feh.
Michael surprised me last night - go 70s!!!!
OK. I don’t get David Cook’s praise. It felt like he totally stripped away the good parts of Billie Jean. The funky bass and vocal lines.
But then again, I felt the same way when Brooke did that acoustic version of Love is a Battlefield. Don’t we have any bass guitar lovers in the house?! Why do the white kids have to toss out the groove?
@sicksteanein: Your ire should be directed toward Chris Cornell.
I am utterly convinced that when it comes to music, [music that is purchased that is] all America wants to do, is get down to what’s hot in the clubs and/or will make for a “bomb ass” ringtone OR rock out, with their -clears throat- cocks out.
@Charles A. Hohman: This is all, unfortunately, very true. If Chikezie gets the impression he’s a goner at some point, I want him to at least go “modern” and sing some Jaheim.
Syesha, take it or leave and Ramiele has, frankly, been terrible 5 weeks in a row, but there’s no denying the clumping together they’re getting. Also, Kristy Lee Cook gets a primo spot because why?
@Tauwan: That’s a problem because…?
@janine:
Oh that’s not a problem at all. I’m rockin’ out as we speak.
@Fennessey: Because she loves America, duh.