Back when the Bonnaroo lineup was announced, the NME plastered its Web site with announcements that Led Zeppelin would be playing the Tennessee festival–an announcement that was occasioned by the press release noting that the all-female Zep tribute band Lez Zeppelin was on the bill. Such are the perils of being the world’s fastest music news service, right? Well, the breathless British tabloid is still convinced that the band will, in fact, play again, despite Robert Plant reportedly turning down a huge reunion-tour payday. And it’s not afraid to take out-of-context quotes from a Led Zeppelin story running in its sister publication Uncut and place them in front of fun-house mirrors for not one story, but two, in order to prove its point.

First, the John Paul Jones statement that occasioned the headline “Led Zeppelin may release new album”:

Asked specifically about the possibility of a new album, he said, “I’m not sure. I’m not too certain about anything right at the moment. I’ve got no idea what’s going to happen. But I’d certainly like to play with Jimmy [Page] again.”

Wow, NME! You’re right, they may release a new album. And hey, I’d certainly like to go on a date with Prince that ends in a show of his–and now that I’ve said that, I can also, by your logic, go around telling my friends that said date may happen! Optimism reigns!

Then there’s the story headlined “Robert Plant: ‘Led Zeppelin May Play Live Again’,” which pulls these quotes from the Uncut piece:

“Hopefully, one day, we could do it again for another really, really good reason,” he said. “Because there’s unfinished business, definitely.

“I don’t think there’s any need for it to be finished. As long as he’s [guitarist Jimmy Page] got a bit of creative electricity going through his nut, then there’s going to be something to do sometime.

“It’s just in what form and how much of a compromise it would be to the real root of what we had as Zeppelin. Everybody wants to have some fun.”

Including the editors of the NME, who are no doubt popping champagne corks in honor of the traffic that they’re getting from their teasing headlines showing up on Google News. Yay, journa… oh, forget it.

Led Zeppelin may release new album [NME]
Robert Plant: “Led Zeppelin May Play Live Again” [NME]
[Photo: Getty]