“Sonny Bono Assassinated!” Say FBI Agent, Tabloid

AP98011002491.jpgLaw officials, Sonny Bono’s family, and Eminem were all satisfied with the story that the Congressman and ex-Cher consort died after colliding with a tree while skiing in 1998. But according to former FBI agent Ted Gunderson, Bono may have been beat to death by “ruthless assassins” to keep him from releasing information that linked government officials to weapons dealers. Law & Order, Francis Ford Coppola–somebody get on this!

[Gunderson] says, “It’s nonsense for anyone to now try to suggest that Bono died after crashing into a tree. There’s zero evidence in this autopsy report… to show such an accident happened. Instead, there’s powerful proof he (Bono) was assassinated. This was an evil plot that was carried out to almost perfection by ruthless assassins.”

…Gunderson’s efforts have been backed by top forensics experts, who fear Nevada authorities were too quick to mark the tragedy as a skiing accident, and investigator Bob Fletcher, who has confessed he sent evidence of a 10-year study that linked top U.S. government officials to arms and weapons dealers to Bono less than a month before his death.

Fletcher says, “He was going to make it his number one priority… There’s no doubt in my mind Sonny was murdered by someone who needed him silenced.”

It’s not wrong for me to hope this is true, is it? Wouldn’t you want to be remembered as a potential whistleblower brutally murdered by the Mafia while skiing? It wouldn’t be the first time Sonny took a controversial stand. Dig this intense mayoral debate in Palm Springs.

“YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER OR DAD, SO BE QUIET!” Dude was hardcore! RIP, Sonny. The truth will out!

FBI Agent: ‘Sonny Bono Was Clubbed To Death’ [Star Pulse]
Sonny Bono debate [YouTube]

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4 Responses to ““Sonny Bono Assassinated!” Say FBI Agent, Tabloid”

  1. by King of Pants at 9:46 am

    Point of order: Sonny Bono was a congressman, not a senator.

  2. by encyclopediablack at 10:43 am

    Someone get Oliver Stone on the phone!

  3. by Captain Wrong at 10:52 am

    Maybe he was bumped out my large media companies so they could ram through the Sonny Bono Memorial Copyright law thing and extend their copyrights forever?

  4. by FionaScrapple at 11:40 am

    Boxcutters?!?

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