The JoBromance Goes Down (Maybe Literally)

If episode 3–with its stalling narrative and repetitive dialogue–was the filler episode of the ongoing Jobromance series, episode 4 is its tour-de-force masterwork. Emogurl810 kicks things up a notch with yet another love subplot, and an almost entirely indecipherable (and therefore possibly brilliant?) match-making sequence in the park, complete with slapstick clichés and an amusing accidental double-entendre.

(Note: this is the same exact video from the last installment (lazy!), so I won’t even bother to comment on it.)

Miley:AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! Nick: Huh? What happened? Miley: Its Emily! Emily: *looks at MIley* Miley: Em, why are you kissing mr. Cody fancypants over there? *note: its Cody Linley* *angry* you told me none of us are going to kiss him or like him Emily: *angry* lets go CODY! Kevin: WOAH! i never knew she could be THAT evil. Lorelai: Me neither, i thought she was a nice, sweet girl Alexis: Well…people change… Ada: Hey MIley, want to hang out with us today MIley: OH SURE! why dont you guys come to the park with me today… Joe: thats okay… Hailey: not okay…ITS GREAT! Ada: yeah! Nick: AWESOME! Alexis: SUPER! Lorelai: that would be nice… ___________________

*AT THE PARK* Nick:*whispers to Ada* Hey, lets make the plan now… Ada: SUre… *they split up, miley and hailey, kevin and lorelai , joe and alexis* *with miley and hailey* Hailey: Aww…look at the lovebirds… Miley: Yeah…lets get them together? Hailey: YEAH…first Joe and Alexis…. *Hailey put a rock on front of Alexis, Alexis tripped and Joe caught her* *with Joe and Alexis* Alexis: Thanks for catching me Joe…. Joe: *blushes* so…um…are you and your sisters related with Ada?… Alexis: yeah…*giggles* didnt Hailey tell us that she’s getting our cousin? *giggles* Joe: *laughs* Oh yeah…hehe…i forgot… Alexis:*laughs* Joe: *tries to act angry* no one laughs at DJ DANGER! im gonna tickle you! *laughs and tickles Alexis* Alexis: AH!! *laughs* stop! *laughs* *runs away* *with Miley and Hailey* Miley: Mission Accomplished! Hailey: High 5! Miley:*they high 5* Hailey: Now…Kevin and Lorelai…but i know how shy Lorelai can be… Miley: hm…I’ll lead them to the swings…and you break the other swing…got it? Hailey: Got it! *Miley goes to Kevin and Lorelai* Miley: oops, sorry to barge in but this is my place…but there’s the swing over there Lorelai:oh…its okay…come on Kev. Kevin: o-kay… *with Kevin, Lorelai and Hailey* Hailey: oops, sorry guys, i broke the other swing… Kevin: its okay, Lorelai, you sit and i push….okay? Lorelai: okay…*Lorelai fell of the swing* Kevin: O my gosh! Lorelai, are you alright? Lorelai: its okay…just help me up…please? kevin: *helps her up and accidentally kisses her* OOPS! sorry…*blushes* Lorelai:*blushes* oh…um…hehe…its fine… *With Miley and Hailey* Hailey: its a success! Miley: YAY! now…Nick and Ada…this is gonna be a little hard because Nick has a HUGE crush on Alexis… Hailey: and Ada has a HUGE crush on Joe… Miley: Lets make them realize they’re perfect 4 each other… *Nick and Ada were sitting on a tree* Ada: so…what to do? Nick: WAIT…i’ll go down first… Ada: wait! Nick…I have to tell you something… Nick: WHAT?! Ada: I… WHAT IS ADA SUPPOSED TO SAY? WILL IT INVOLVE THE OTHERS? NICK? JOE? WHO? note: i just love leaving you guys clueless…im so EVIL..mwahhahaha… ~emogurl810~

It seems as if Miley may have been omitting some truths last episode when she claimed that she and “mr. Cody fancypants” were “just friends.” Jealousy like that springs forth only from the pain of love, Miley; emotional affairs can be just as involving. But my favorite part of the opening scene is the following exchange:

Kevin: WOAH! i never knew she could be THAT evil. Lorelai: Me neither, i thought she was a nice, sweet girl Alexis: Well…people change… Ada: Hey MIley, want to hang out with us today MIley: OH SURE! why dont you guys come to the park with me today…

There’s something just so nonchalantly wise about that bit of dialog. Emogurl810 may be the worst writer on YouTube–and quite possibly the worst writer on the internet–but she seems to have grasped one of life’s most difficult universal truths with ease and her own particular style of grace. And for that we must certainly award her some credit.

Despite the emotional depth of the fist scene, the park is where this episode really kicks into high gear. Between Hailey and Miley’s matchmaking rampage, and Nick and Ada’s scheming to win the hearts of Alexis and Joe, it’s a veritable drama cocktail, not to mention the perfect sequence for a montage. Unfortunately that level of editing is far beyond the capabilities of emogurl810, but if it were possible, which song would she use? What with Hailey and Miley’s particularly aggressive techniques (forcing Alexis to trip, breaking playground equipment), the first thing that came to mind was the goofy and yet somehow vaguely malicious Benny Hill theme. But then that just seemed a tad too frantic in tone. So I considered how the sequence would look, to steal a joke from some friends, set to Steely Dan’s “Reelin’ In the Years.” A pretty nice fit, though a little too introspective for a light-hearted matchmaking montage. But I was liking the ’70s theme, so finally I landed on Fleetwood Mac’s excellent, bouncy ode to the mysteries of love, “I Don’t Want to Know.” One day when this series is made into a Disney movie, that sequence will have to become a reality. Of course it’ll have to be Miley Cyrus’s cover of the song instead of the original.

Goodness this has gotten off track. Where were we? Oh yes, Miley and Hailey break the swing so that Lorelei will fall off, and Kevin will in turn be forced to help her up off the ground and “accidentally kiss her.” I don’t know where emogurl810 is from, how old she is, etc., but if she’s prone to thinking that kisses happen by accident, I’m afraid she’s got a long, disappointing road ahead of her. But that’s not even the most endearingly naive statement of the episode. No, that distinction belongs to this unfortunate bit of dialog between Nick and Ada as they sit in a tree trying to figure out how to win Alexis and Joe…or are they exploring another aspect of young love?

*Nick and Ada were sitting on a tree* Ada: so…what to do? Nick: WAIT…i’ll go down first… Ada: wait! Nick…I have to tell you something… Nick: WHAT?! Ada: I…

I always knew Nick was was the most generous of the three.

So it seems as if the JoBromance is beginning to tie up its loose ends. Two couples were made in this episode, and if the ending is any indication, a third is on its way. But what of Miley and Hailey? And who’s Emily? Is she that girl at the end of the video holding the dog? Answers to these questions and more in Episode 5.