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Like the Timex Social Club, I spend a lot of time lamenting the rumors that surround me every day. How do they get started? And where do they get crazy? In Truthmongerer, I’ll try to suss out the kernels of truth in the rumors that are taking up airspace in gossip columns, blogs, and our tips inbox.
THE RUMOR: Ashlee Simpson’s camp is so nervous about Mariah Carey getting all the press–and the sales–when Ashlee’s long-delayed album Bittersweet World comes out at the end of April that they’ve actually leaked E=MC2 in an effort to make its release “less newsworthy.”
TRUTH THRESHOLD: 20%.
LIKELY TRUTHS: “Joe Simpson has every right to be nervous about Ashlee going up against Mariah. They are backed into a corner with this release date since they already changed it once,” a source told MSNBC. E=MC2 leaked in full over the weekend, a week and a half before its release date, which is probably freaking out the suits at Island Def Jam.
LIKELY FALSEHOODS: The source continued: “Their only option in fighting the Mariah machine would be to create a way to make the album’s release less newsworthy.” Well, no. They could always, you know, try and figure out just what has turned Ashlee into someone people don’t want to hear anymore, and why neither “Outta My Head” nor “Little Miss Obsessive” have really caught on with listeners. Or they could capitalize on their fake-redhead’s tabloid stature by announcing that Ashlee got engaged!
Besides, does anyone think that Ashlee would still have a career at Universal Music Group if she’d been revealed to be leaking songs from the Mariah album, also known as “the album that killed the pop-music blogosphere?” Those copies of Bittersweet World would be sent to China for landfilling faster than you can say “Ay ya ya ya ya.”
Ashlee’s new album to go up against Mariah’s [MSNBC via ONTD]
Well, if Ashlee has been paying any attention at all, she must realize that Mariah will hunt her down for wronging her.
So is that whole “getting engaged to Pete Wentz” thing to help Bittersweet World move a couple more units too?
A Timex Social Club reference?! I think I love you (and can forgive you for smiting Duran Duran a few days back).
I never forgive a Duran smiting.
@NeverEnough: D’ja hear the one about Michael? Some say he must be gay.
I tried to argue, but…
@Chris Molanphy: Chris, I can’t go no place without somebody pointin’ a finger!
I think Papa Joe is delusional enough to believe that Ashlee is serious competition for a star like Mariah, but I doubt he’s smart enough to come up with a plan like this.
This all reeks of Papa Joe. Leaked tracks, engagements…I will bet my life savings that a reality show will be announced by the end of next week.
In what world is Ashlee v. Mariah an even fight? Delusional, those Simpsons are.
@pantycrickets: Oh god WENTZ OF LOVE, I can see it now. Like seriously, I think you’re right.
This is a pretty great idea for a regular column, btw.
Make no mistake, this new “engagement” of A&P is nothing more than an opportunity for Papa Joe to recreate “Newlyweds”…
Cuz, you know, when a Simpson sister’s music career is on the outs, there is always room for one more reality show on MTV.