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Undaunted by the eternal shelving of her very expensive solo album, lead Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger is still trying every trick in the book to be taken seriously as An Artist. The latest: A promotion for a Brazil-inspired Caress Body Wash (with passion flower cream and acai oil!) that features La Scherz singing lead on the “Caress Brazilian Mix” of Duran Duran’s “Rio,” a song that really didn’t need to be remade and that certainly didn’t need to be remade with her thin vocals and a super-cheesy-sounding “Latin” guitar line. Somehow she hasn’t realized yet that the American public can’t miss her if she hasn’t gone away, although judging by her brand-new stage name, maybe the people running her career are figuring that few people realized she was actually out there making music sans backup Dolls in the first place.
I’ve gone through the whole minisite and the word “Scherzinger” doesn’t appear once, which makes me wonder if she’s going to be hauling herself in front of a judge for a legal name change sometime soon.
Caress – Unleash the Excitement of Brazil [Official site; HT Reed Fischer]
The utter failure of hers and Will I. Am’s solo careers just makes me laugh out loud. I haven’t been this amused since Sony spent $50M trying to make Jessica Simpson into Britney Spears. It just shows how unpredictable the buying public can be.
Everytime I see her, I wonder what happened to Eden’s Crush…anyone have an update?
@Macloserboy: I used to wonder why will couldn’t do for himself or Nicole what he did for Fergie, but some time ago I realized I had it backwards — it’s what Fergie did for will. The BEPs are/were not about will’s songwriting or production skills, which he can bring to the table for himself and Nicole. The BEPs were about Fergie. The BEPs were nothing but a minor funk/soul/R&B/rap act until Fergie’s sex appeal and showmanship and vocals were added to the mix.
WRT Nicole specifically, sure, she’s got the looks, and the pipes, but she doesn’t have what Fergie has. If you caught Idol Gives Back the other nite, you might know what I mean. Nicole can’t go from hip-hopper to dance-popper to vulnerable chanteuse to fierce rocker (who can blow away Ann Freakin’ Wilson!) in 3.2 seconds and bring the crowd to their feet no matter what she’s doing — Nicole doesn’t have that — and that’s why Nicole will never be a star like Fergie.
@pantycrickets: I know you’re jesting, but for those who might care to know without bothering to click over to Wikipedia or teh Googles, their record label folded toward the end of 2001, and the floundering act decided to disband.
Bonus fun trivia fact: Fergie has a writing credit for one of the tracks on Eden’s Crush’s (?) only album, Popstars.
@Rob Murphy: Actually it seems she’s just got Mick Jagger Disease. The frontman who can’t go solo, even if the solo stuff is almost the same as the group stuff. It’s a quality that Phil Collins and Fergie have that Mick Jagger and Nicole do not.
@Rob Murphy: Yup, she wrote “What’s Good 4 The Goose” I have the album and only know one other person that does. It’s great for drunken’ sing-a-longs.
@Macloserboy:
I’m sorry, but there’s no equation in the universe that can justify how you landed at comparing Mick Jagger with the chick from the Pussycat Dolls.
Why did I automatically see the headline to this post as Nicole Scherzinger Shaves Her Rear?