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Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle has been charged with domestic battery after being arrested at his home in Florida. Ice’s wife, Laura, called police to the couple’s house last night after an argument that apparently resulted in physical violence; he’s now been ordered by a judge to stay away from his wife, and he can only have contact with his children through one of his friends. Can someone remind me why anyone would ever want to be famous again? Incidents like this kind of make me forget. [TMZ / Mug via The Smoking Gun]
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“No officer, I didn’t hit her like that: bap, bap, slap, bap! See, what we did is: bap, BAP, slaaaap, BAP! It’s totally different.”
Ok. Domestic abuse isn’t really funny. But I had a muse. An icy one.
There’s a “stop, collaborate, and listen” joke to be made here, but I’ll let someone funnier than me to actually make it.
Get with the hero? Get beat like a… ah hell.
Woman or not, who would admit to getting his/her ass kicked by Vanilla Ice?
And Tenno’s comment made me snort. Well done.
@Tenno: FTW. For all time.
@Tenno: I laughed until cried. Kudos.
I wonder if his wife inadvertently screamed “No, Vanilla!” and that’s what set him off.
[www.grind.com]
Yes, I know domestic violence isn’t funny.
@encyclopediablack: Too cold, too cold.
“To the extreme, he socks his wife like a vandal…”
@tigerpop: To the extreme
^_^
@owenmeany: “pops her a quick one, reach for a candle…”
@NeverEnough: Still doesn’t come close to the drummer for Def Leppard getting arrested for beating his wife in an airport. Bitch needs some lessons from Dr. Richard Kimble.
@StuntKockSteeev: Oh god, I remember that! I never did see VH1’s dramatic retelling of the Def Leppard story– did they recreate the airport beatdown?
I think me and owenmeany need to make a tribute song…
@Tenno: If you do, can you make sure to include the mug shot on the YouTube video? This story is all the more pathetic with that picture, because Ice looks like his mama didn’t get enough trace minerals when she was pregnant with him….
I’m not defending the guy. But lately he’s really been . . . UNDER PRESSURE.
doodoodoo-dododo-dum
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