As our radio-rockin’ pedant Al Shipley noted yesterday, Showbread isn’t the first group of late to suffer the traumatic loss of a keytarist. Keytarist Elisa Schwartz left/was fired from Cobra Starship in early 2007, after suffering verbal abuse at the hands of her fellow snakesonaplane-bringers. But now she’s back with new songs, a new look, and a new last name. The former Miss Schwartz is now Elisa Jordana, a pop star in the making with some big-name friends (Colby O’Donis! JC Chasez! Flo Rida’s manager!) and a MySpace page, but no record label.

I feel like since the whole Cobra Starship thing happened, I’ve sort of turned into Elisa Jordana. I’ve been recording and doing photo shoots, and I’ve sort of turned into this glamorous pop star. Like the other night, I decided I needed some press photos — and I really wanted to be in a bathing suit — so I called my friend, we found this Mexican taco stand that was open at, like, 3 a.m., and I just went for it. Elisa Schwartz never would’ve been able to do that. Elisa Jordana did. So that’s the name I chose to use for my new project.

Her chirpy electro-pop ditties celebrate nymphomania, the need for spankings, prostitution, swallowing men, and confident teenagers who fall in love with the principal. “Young Love” also seems to reference falling in love with Cobra Starship’s Gabe Saporta, a subject which sadly doesn’t inspire a number on the level of “Ted Mosby Is A Jerk.” Still, her songs sound catchier than anything Cobra Starship’s done since they brought those snakes. And the keytar will still be a key part of her act.

Actually, I can’t talk about it too much, but I’m hoping to get my own signature keytar. I want it to be covered with hearts and flowers, and I want it to be wireless. I’m a really good dancer, so I want to be able to move when I’m performing. And I’m a gymnast, too, so I wanna do gymnastics in my set. But who knows? The keytar is pretty heavy.

The M.I.A. of 2009? Only time will tell.

Cobra Starship’s Former Keytarist Returns … As A ‘Nymphomaniac’ With A New Name [MTV]
Elisa Jordana [MySpace]