From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews. Under consideration today is the latest album by gossip-page staple Ashlee Simpson, whose third album Bittersweet World hits stores tomorrow and has one writer reaching for the slightly unfortunate metaphor:

• “It’s only on howlers like ‘Rule Breaker’ (’Some say I’m a black sheep/Cuz I like to sleep late’? Girl, you so crazy!) that she stumbles too obviously. Still, even if Simpson will never be considered an authentic artist, she remains a surprisingly fillable vessel. B” [EW]
• “‘Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)’ and ‘Ragdoll,’ her collaborations with the Brooklyn electro up-and-comer Santogold, are perky, syncopated staccato complaints. ‘No Time for Tears’ segues spooky Eurythmics verses into a pop-punk chorus. Ms. Simpson ricochets from vampy self-esteem (’Hot Stuff,’ ‘Boys’) to postbreakup sulking (’Little Miss Obsessive’) to generically sincere protestations that ‘it’s not easy bein’ me.’ It couldn’t be more calculated, but that doesn’t prevent it from being catchy, too.” [NYT]
• “But Simpson’s still her own favorite subject, and she’s got an excellent coming-of-age anthem in ‘What I’ve Become,’ a paparazzi kiss-off with an appealingly honest chorus: ‘I’ve just begun to find my way.’
” [RS]
• “When things slow down–as they do on the utterly forgettable closer ‘Never Dream Alone’ and the quite awful ‘Little Miss Obsessive,’ where Ashlee explores the endless possibilities of the word ‘over’ in the chorus–it’s a bit of a slog, but those moments are fortunately few and far between here because Ashlee is aggressively shallow. She’s always been this way, of course, but Bittersweet World is the first time that she has made a record that lives up to her happily empty persona, something that’s truly fun junk.” [AMG]