A lot, judging by the way I got vaguely bummed out while reading The Walrus’ survey of the 31 saddest pieces of music to be put to tape. Bookended by the Band (“Rockin’ Chair”) and Brahms (Horn Trio Op.40., Second Movement), the list runs the gamut as far as genre and reasons to be sad, with guaranteed tear-jerkers like “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” and “It’s Not Easy Being Green” nestled among tracks that are bummers for aesthetic reasons as well as those relating to subject matter (hello, “Tears In Heaven”!). And there are a few curveballs on the list, particularly the theme from Growing Pains–which, despite being slightly over half a minute in length, is full of enough references to crying and death for Paul Isaacs to call it “odd and heartbreaking.” Full list after the jump.
1. The Band, “Rockin’ Chair” (1969)
2. Tom Waits, “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” (1978)
3. Randy Newman, “Marie” (1968)
4. Mary J Blige, “Not Gon’ Cry” (1996)
5. The Kinks, “Oklahoma USA” (1971)
6. Joni Mitchell, “River” (1971)
7. The Communards, “For A Friend” (1987)
8. Patsy Cline, “She’s Got You” (1962)
9. Billie Holiday, “I Get Along Without You Very Well” (1958)
10. “It’s Not Easy Being Green” (from Sesame Street, 1970)
11. Dolly Parton, “Down From Dover” (1970)
12. Bob Dylan, “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” (1963)
13. Bruce Springsteen, “The River” (1980)
14. Sinead O’Connor, “Streets of London” (orig. 1969)
15/16. Buffalo Tom, “Taillights Fade” (1992) / Red House Painters “Katy Song” (1993)
17. Mahalia Jackson, “Trouble of the World” (1959)
18. Neil Young, “Borrowed Tune” (1973)
19. Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris, “$1,000 Wedding” (1974)
20. Lee Hazlewood, “My Autumn’s Done Come” (1966)
21. John Prine/Swamp Dogg, “Sam Stone” (1971/1972)
22. Judy Garland, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (1944)
23. Strawberry Switchblade, “Since Yesterday” (1984)
24. The Notorious B.I.G., “Suicidal Thoughts” (1994)
25. “Somewhere Out There” (from An American Tail, 1986)
26. Eric Clapton, “Tears in Heaven” (1992)
27. Phil Collins, “Against All Odds” (1984)
28. BJ Thomas, theme song from Growing Pains (1985)
29. Gravediggaz, “Burn Baby Burn” (2002)
30. The Smiths, “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” (1986)
31. Brahms, Horn Trio Op.40., Second Movement
The Saddest Music In The World [The Walrus via PTW]
I believe the correct answer to your question is “so much.”
25. “Somewhere Out There” (from An American Tail, 1986)
Only if it’s the actual squeaky mouse version from the film.
“Your Funny Uncle”
Kudos to the author for putting “Christmas Card” at number two, but “There is a Light” is a love song and doesn’t really belong here. Still, nothing compares to this list of sad songs. Sad ain’t sad without Joe Pernice.
“Wichita Lineman”
“Being Boring” by The Pet Shop Boys
I always thought that the theme from Taxi was much sadder than the theme from Growing Pains. The Taxi theme is about the most depressing song ever composed.
I’m not sure I can get behind a list of sad songs that doesn’t include either Elliott Smith or Patty Griffin (has she ever even written a song that wasn’t heartbreakingly sad?).
@Thierry: Or “Til I Die”, or something by Dennis Wilson (“All Alone” or “Thoughts of You”, maybe).
“Dirt Floor” by Chris Whitley
@NeverEnough: Holy hell yeah.”MacArthur Park” too. Jimmy Webb FTW.
@Thierry: I’m with you on Elliott Smith. Ballad of Big Nothing from Either/Or and “I didn’t understand” are both very sad. But he’s almost in a league of his own where sad songs are concerned. For that matter, no Roy Orbison?
@Rory B. Bellows: How about the sad piano music that played over the end credits of The Incredible Hulk TV show?
Also, “Whispering Pines” is easily the saddest song by The Band.
@NeverEnough: Second! on PSB.
But man, does this guy nail it on “Bein’ Green.” My voice cracks when I sing that song to myself. I still marvel that Joe Raposo wrote such a brilliantly emo song in the hippie ’70s for a Muppet.
I Know – Fiona Apple
Come Down in Time – Elton John
@disinterested 3rd party: Good call on Roy Orbison – “It’s Over” or “Crying”?
Also, “A Thousand Miles From Nowhere” by Dwight Yoakam…
And if you include “Against All Odds”, you might as well include the original by Badfinger, when it was called “Without You”…
A few points:
* “Suicide Is Painless” is clearly the most depressing instrumental TV theme. Although Bob James’ Taxi theme is definitely up there.
* No American Music Club? No “Western Sky” or “Blue and Grey Shirt?”
* I’d swap out “Since Yesterday” for the Beatles’ “For No One.”
The Orbison mention reminded me: Del Shannon’s “Runaway” belongs here as well.
All of “The Holy Bible” by The Manic Street Preachers
I would pick Atlantic City over The River any day.
i’d say “martha” is more sad than “christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis” but that’s like arguing over the best way to kill yourself.
“Oklahoma, USA” is sad, but “Days”, which tries desperately to be upbeat, is infinitely sadder.
Also:
Richard and Linda Thompson’s “Has He Got A Friend?”
Graham Parsons and Emmylou Harris’s version of “Love Hurts”
Almost anything by Charlie Rich.
And how in hell did they leave “He Stopped Loving Her Today” off?
I figured that Red House Painters’ “Katy Song” should have been on that list, but then I read the article:
“The only guideline for our panel: no nominations would be allowed for groups or artists whose default emotion is sadness.”
Ok, well that’s that.
Prince – “Sometimes it Snows in April”
@iantenna:
You read my mind.
without turing this into an ‘i can do sad too’ talkback-”Band of Gold” (Afghan Whigs version). i always thought lyrically, “Young Hearts Run Free” was weirdly, utterly bleak.
also, “Holocaust” by Big Star, “Be My Baby”, “Bachelor Kisses” by the Go Betweens, the list goes on…
I’ll take “Many Rivers to Cross” by Jimmy Cliff and “These Days” by Jackson Browne.
Also, will someone please tell me when I turned into my father?
um, “knoxville girl” by the louvin brothers, anyone?
(apologies if this posts twice)
Major lack of classical music, definitely should have Mahler (he did write the Kindertodenlieder (“Songs about the Death of Children”) in reference to losing kids in childbirth…) and Beethoven.
I also vote for “I Didn’t Understand” by Elliott. Also, strangely enough the song “Peer Pressure” by Jon Brion (from “Eternal Sunshine”) is the only song I can think of that actually brings me to tears but that has to do with memories I suppose.
My vote has to go to “Painkillers” by Candy Butchers. Pretty much guarantees a sob fest for me.
@FionaScrapple: I agree on “I Know”. When she sings those last lines, and the little snare kicks in… whew.
“Ballad of Lucy Jordan” by Marianne Faithfull is so sad I’m incapable of listening to it. There is just too much truth in everything about it.
@Thierry: Yes! Elliott Smith sang some of the saddest songs I’ve ever heard.
@NeverEnough: I’d add in a few of the GATS b-sides for good measure, particularly Donkeys.
I think Still Would Stand All Time by Prince is a damn good candidate for this list, or The Beautiful Ones.
What kind of list is this? It doesn’t even include Soul Asylum’s legendary tearjerker “Runaway Train.” What could be sadder than a one way ticket on a one way track? Especially when it seems like you should getting somewhere, but somehow you’re neither here nor there.
Oh and Whispering Pines fades Rocking Chair in the sadness dep’t, though the call and response btw Richard and Levon is gutwrenching. Not to mention Long Black Veil, obv not an original but Danko sings it as sadly as anyone ever could.
@ThreeBirds: OMG Painkillers is the saddest song EVER
This is a good list. Anything with $1000 Wedding on it AND It’s Not Easy Being Green AND Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas is pretty frigging sad. But Young Hearts Run Free and Here Comes A Regular (and the Billy Bragg cover of Walk Away Renee) should all rightfully be on there, too.
Also that incredibly long Jewel song about the boy that got into the canoe accident.
@The Illiterate: Waterloo Sunset is the saddest Kinks song, IMHO, but Days is certainly in the running.
Bonnie Raitt, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” – So maudlin but horribly effective anyway.
Also, the song at the end of The Last Unicorn. And the song that Ernest sings when he lets all the outcast kids down in Ernest Goes to Camp (“Gee, I’m Glad It’s Rainin’”).
@whoneedslight: “Atlantic City” is one of the most emotionally packed songs I’ve ever heard from any artist, and while “The River” is great, it really can’t hold a candle to “Atlantic City”. “Highway Patrolman” is another amazingly sad Bruce song.
“Here Comes a Regular” by the Replacements is guaranteed to get me a bit goosebumped
Several of the songs from You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene, even though I suspect it’s just because I discovered that album when I was a depressed teenager and it gets you pretty hard then.
Andre3000′s verse on “Da Art of Storytellin Pt. 1″ is killer, as is Big Boi’s story of a teenager committing suicide on “Toilet Tisha”.
UGK’s “One Day”, especially now that Pimp C is dead.
@walkmasterflex: oh yeah, and basically everything in Z-Ro’s discography, especially his song with Trae, “No Help”, definitely one of the saddest rap songs ever
“Venus Stop the Train” by Wilco always gets me too.
@revmatty: Yeah! Great call. “Hibernation” is really sad as well.
@HuckNPluck: D’oh! I totally forgot about Wilco. ‘Via Chiaco’ kills me. The noisy bits sound like a panic attack.
@The Illiterate: Word on “He Stopped Loving her Today”. When The Possum hits “and now they’ll carry him away….” it brings a tear to the eye.
@HuckNPluck: ‘Kindertodenlieder’ sounds like a perky little toe-tapper!
David Ackles, “Down River”
Stevie Wonder, “Heaven Help Us All” and “Someday at Christmas”
Roxy Music, “Nightingale”
The Mountain Goats, “In Corolla”
Nirvana, “All Apologies”
Judy Collins, “Send in the Clowns”
Don Gibson, “Sea of Heartbreak”
Ten City, “That’s the Way Love Is”
Chris Kenner, “Time”
Ray Charles, “Old Man River”
Hoagy Carmichael, “Washboard Blues”
Merle Haggard, “Mama Tried”
Simon & Garfunkel, “The Boxer”
Disco Inferno, “Next Year”
Mercury Rev, “Holes”
Ghostface Killah, “All I Got Is You” and “Beatles”
Gavin Bryars/Philip Jeck/Alter Ego The Sinking of the Titanic
Blind Willie Johnson, “Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground”
Jack Armstrong, “Chevy Chase”/”The Cott”
Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 13, minus the later final movement.