Idolator

ARTIST: Fergie
TITLE: "Labels Or Love"
WEB DEBUT: April 23, 2008

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: This weekend I took a short out-of-town trip that resulted in me punching around the radio offerings of the New York-Philadelphia corridor. "You know what I'm sort of looking forward to as a result of the recession?" I said to my companion as the phrase "Ap-ple-bot-tom-JEEEANS" screamed out of the speakers. "The demise of songs that substitute recitations of sorta-luxury-goods' labels for actual lyrics." Something tells me that Fergie's contribution to the Sex And The City soundtrack—which samples the show's theme and will probably be all over the radio by the time you hear this—might serve as the death knell for the genre, given that it's so out of touch with the times, it advocates running up credit cards. (Fergie Ferg, if you have all that cash, shouldn't you be peeking at the business pages to at least check up on your investments? Tsk, tsk.) And like, everyone knows that celebrities like the former Stacy Ferguson get all their shit for free anyway.

The most frustrating part about the lyrical hailing of "affordable luxury" brands and super-conspicuous consumption? The song itself is actually not all that bad. Fergie's yelling of "lookin' for labels, lookin' for love" brings a new super-staccato edge to her delivery (she's at her best when she's emulating early-days pop-rap, really) and the glittery chorus sounds like it was transported out of a mid-'80s roller rink. But the crowing about all the expensive crap she can buy instead of having a boyfriend sounds super-trite and completely lost in a fever dream of what it means to be "rich" that even the Sex And The City ladies would roll their eyes at.

WHERE TO FIND IT: ALi's Blog.

[Photo: AP]