read that sentence again; brilliant. by their logic you simply don’t listen to music if you fall outside 13-34.

I’m already a fan of Slacker.com

[Simpsons #4F12] The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show

At “Itchy & Scratchy, Intl.”, Myers has called a meeting of the writers along with Krusty and a lady from the network.

Myers: I have figured out how to rejuvenate the show. It’s so simple, you egghead writers would’ve never thought of it! What we need is… a new character! One that today’s kids can relate to!

[writers look at each other, uncertain]

Oakley: Are you absolutely sure that’s wise, sir? I mean, I don’t want to sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad.

Krusty: Hey, this ain’t art — it’s business! [turns to Meyers] Whaddya got in mind? Sexy broad? Gangster octopus?

Myers: No, no. The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog.
[to the writers] D-O-G.

Weinstein: Uh, a dog? Isn’t that a tad predictable?

Lady: In your dreams. We’re talking the original dog from hell.

Oakley: You mean Cerberus?

Lady: We at the network want a dog with attitude. He’s edgy, he’s “in your face.” You’ve heard the expression “let’s get busy”? Well, this is a dog who gets “biz-zay!” Consistently and thoroughly.

Krusty: So he’s proactive, huh?

Lady: Oh, God, yes. We’re talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

Meyer: Excuse me, but “proactive” and “paradigm”? Aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? [backpedaling] Not that I’m accusing you of anything like that. [pause] I’m fired, aren’t I?

Myers: Oh, yes. The rest of you start writers thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say… Poochie, only more proactive.

Krusty: Yeah!

[Myers, Krusty and the lady leave]

Oakley: So, Poochie okay with everybody?

All: [reclining in their chairs] Yeah…

Cut to animator drawing first draft of Poochie. Meyers, Krusty and Lady give notes….

[Animator draws a standard dog]

Myers: No, no, no! He was supposed to have attitude.

Animator: Um… wh-what do you mean, exactly?

Myers: Oh, you know, attitude, attitude! Uh… sunglasses!

Lady: Could we put him in more of a “hip-hop” context?

Krusty: Forget context, he’s gotta be a surfer. Give me a nice shmear of surfer

Lady: I feel we should Rasta-fy him by… 10 percent or so.

[all stare at it w/o any expression]

Myers: Hmm… I think he needs a little more attitude.

[Animator blackens in Poochie's sunglasses]

All Three: [variously] Oh, yeah, bingo. Yeah, that’s it! There it is, right there! I love it!