You Know Who Really Sucks? The Doors

justlookingatthispicturemakesmyearshurt.jpgRecent postings on Idolator have upset the Pink Floyd and Madonna fans out there, sparking complaints about the site’s overall negative attitude and tendencies toward “hating everything.” I can’t speak for Maura, Anthony, or any of the other bylines on this site, but I can assure you I don’t hate everything. I really, really do hate the Doors, though.

Oh, is there a popular act of the rock era worse than the Doors? I’d entertain nominations for the Eagles, but as much as I hate those country-rock cocaine Californians, the Doors have committed crimes of assault upon my ears that cannot be forgiven. Listen to this garbage:

AAAARRRGRGHGGH. I can’t think of anything I’d rather excise permanently from the universe’s playlist, yet it comes back again and again, swaggering with a unique combination of pretension and stupidity that should have disappeared long ago.

I’m sorry in advance for doing this, but here’s Exhibit B for the prosecution:

I don’t want to blame Arthur Lee, but his recommendation got these clowns signed to Elektra, and they still sell a million albums a year somehow. I thank the Doors for one thing only: providing the musical base for Jay-Z’s “The Takeover.” But that’s a case of Kanye West turning coal (to be kind) into a diamond. The Doors were a hacky slam-poetry band that somehow found its way into the spotlight during a time period where A&R guys were taking prodigious amounts of drugs, which clearly compromised their faculties.

Pink Floyd? I’d listen to them any day before even looking at a Doors press photo. Madonna? “Holiday” is my jam.

The Doors are the worst band of all time. Period. And, yes, I’ve heard CCR.

The Doors [Official site, which I'm linking for some unknown reason]

 
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  1. janine  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Clevertrousers: Methinks you’re right. In any case, the Doors came up at around the same time as the other psychedelic rock bands, and weren’t innovators of the genre, let alone innovators of the use of sexual energy in rock or whatever bullshit. That was my point.

  2. Audif Jackson Winters III  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @drjimmy11: That pretty much sums it up for me.

  3. mike a  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    The thing is, the music isn’t that bad, but then you’ve got Mr. Mojo Risin’ to deal with. It would be tempting to say they’d have been better without him, but Other Voices doesn’t bear that out, does it?

    Kudos to Manzarek for producing the first two X albums, though. X did a really good “Soul Kitchen” on Los Angeles

  4. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @NotPop: You really should get yourself a blog. It’s good times.

    The 77’s are my most beloved band, but not entirely due to their musical output.

    @Clevertrousers: Oh, Lester Bangs. I enjoy cough syrup abuse probably more than anyone, but if I never hear that guy’s name again, all the time I’ve invested getting “clear” through Scientology would finally pay off.

    @nearly everyone: If I counted on blog traffic to pay my bills, the Doors would be the least of my concerns.

  5. mike a  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    You know what? This has turned out to be a semi-serious discussion. If you want the trolls, Idolators, you may consider dissing Dave Matthews. Or Zappa (cue endless posts about “you just haven’t heard the right stuff!”).

  6. AltheaCabbichoke  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    thanks for writing this. i wholeheartedly agree. i like the doors for their
    influence on the stooges, but have no interest in listening to an album of
    theirs.

  7. KurticusMaximus  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    A-fucking-men. God, I hate The Doors.

  8. Rory B. Bellows  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @mike a: You wanted the Trolls…You got the Trolls!

  9. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @mike a: Zappa fans do a fine job indicting themselves.

  10. Tauwan  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @GhostOfDuane:

    Wow man. Just wow.

    And just for shits and giggles let me just go on the record and say that my life would be that much easier if the “powers that be” allowed me to enjoy the catalogue of those mighty paeans of rock, The Beatles, on my own time. I swear if I have to be reminded of how great Sgt. Pepper was for the community one more time…

  11. GhostOfDuane  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    Sgt Pepper… Outstanding album. You should listen to it. Right now.

  12. Anonymous  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    Good bands vs. bad bands, so arbitrary and personal! I was a Doors lover in HS and I can’t listen now, but I can’t tell all the lovers that they’re wrong. As an example, I like Steely Dan and I like Iron & Wine, but I thought Shepard’s Dog sounded like REALLY BAD STEELY DAN! Am I going to music blogger hell?

  13. The Illiterate  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Anthony Miccio: I think people would find them a lot more intriguing/amusing if they were some forgotten ’60s curio rather than treated like legendary icons complete with an Oliver Stone biopic.

    Yeah, right up there with Ultimate Spinach

    @Tauwan: Oh man, don’t drag the Beatles into this thread or it will never end.

  14. Tauwan  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @whoneedslight:

    Man I was so excited when I got my hands on Shepard’s Dog, especially after hearing Boy With A Coin. But the album just couldn’t cut it for me. Sucks man. I would blow the dust off the case and give it a spin tonight, but unfortunately, it’s Super Tuesday:

    [idolator.com]

  15. NotPop  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson:”The 77’s are my most beloved band”
    Now there’s a underrated band.

    But, you do realize that Jim Morrison’s vocal style was an influence on Michael Roe’s? Particularly on “Ping Pong over the Abyss”

    Jim Morrison was an influence for so many good bands, like him directly or not, he must have been an engaging front man. Of course you don’t get a front man on record do you? Which is why I think it’s pointless to disregard them without seeing them live. Which I haven’t. Have you Dan?

    For the record: I never got into The Doors, not even when I discovered bongs and tie-dye in high school. My beef is just with this pointless “god do I hate this 40 year old band” type ‘journalism’

  16. Chris N.  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    Funny how beating a sacred cow sounds just like beating a dead horse.

  17. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @NotPop: There’s few more tired arguments than the “you have to see them live” gambit. There are certainly bands that are better live than on tape, but “Love Me Two Times” isn’t going to get any better when The Lizard King is showing everyone his wang. Seriously.

    Just because someone is “influential” doesn’t make him interesting or good, and if this is supposed to be “journalism”, I’m going to ask for more money.

    Done, and…done.

  18. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008
  19. NotPop  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson: Yep, done. I’m tired.

    Now do a post on the 77’s. Spread the good word.

  20. Ned Raggett  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @NotPop: My beef is just with this pointless “god do I hate this 40 year old band” type ‘journalism’

    Hey, I don’t hate the 40 year old band. I hate the iconophiles. Regrettably, their numbers seem to increase.

  21. Maura Johnston  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Elijah-M: 1, i don’t work with those dudes anymore, 2, peep the timestamp on this:

    [twitter.com]

    i wish i had enough time to do evil semi-genius planning like the kind you outline. but thanks for thinking that i can, maybe?

  22. Anonymous  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @AltheaCabbichoke: agreed! But I’ll admit I, too, liked them at 15.

  23. Elijah-M  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Maura Johnston: Yes, Maura, I believe in you. That’s not necessarily a compliment.

  24. It honestly blows my mind how seriously people are taking this.

  25. NotPop  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    Wait, I like The Doors now.

    But I think music SUCKS.

  26. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Elijah-M: Pageviews aren’t a huge concern of mine (which you probably can guess by the topics I choose to write about), but then again, I’m a temp, so I miss most of that drama.

    Also, Maura and I have never had a conversation about trying to increase traffic with my stuff ever, and I think I probably have the most guest stints around here.

    Nice try though. I’ve always wanted to be part of a conspiracy theory.

  27. NewHillBilly  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    Too bad he died before morphing into the “Lounge” Lizard King. What a bunch of hacks.

  28. Bob Loblaw  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    @Ned Raggett: Missed all the comments “fun”
    after I left work last night, but for what it’s worth, my stop at
    Pere-Lachaise was one of my top-5 most depressing cemetary visits ever.
    A rave kid wrote Aldous Huxley quotes on the tombstone in fluorescent
    chalk, while two drunk Canadians belted out the wrong words to “Wish
    You Were Here.” It was 11 in the morning and there was an actual burial
    taking place 50 feet away, which no one noticed.

    I don’t even like the Doors much, so really, I have no one to blame.

  29. nonce  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    Janine’s EMF reference made everything clear to me: when I was in junior high, I rocked that EMF cassingle like nobody’s business. I also bought/scammed a Best of Doors through BMG mailorder music service.

    15 years on, I wouldn’t rate either band as good but they are both, ironically or otherwise, FUN.

    Guns n’ Roses, on the other hand, is just pure suck.

  30. Nicolars  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @AL: I know, right? People are crazy.

  31. bcapirigi  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    i think the doors are okay, but i always thought of them mostly as ‘the way teenage boys could channel their homoerotic feelings if they weren’t athletic enough for the wrestling team.’

    of course, it would help if jim morrison had actually been attractive.

  32. revmatty  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    Here is a point no one has ever adequately answered for me: If the Doors were such an amazing band, how is it that none of the remaining members has had any significant career since. You can argue whether Morrison was also an over-rated hack (he was) but clearly the rest of the band were mediocre on their own.

    My general rule is: If it plays on Classic Rock stations, it’s probably garbage.

  33. Captain Wrong  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    126 (now 127) comments about the fucking Doors in 2008? Are you kidding me? And all these people I’ve never (or rarely) seen comment here…do people just lay in wait for shit like this?

    Two good things about the Doors, Jose Felicanio’s Light My Fire (a million times better then the original. Sounds like there’s some actual passion in there, not just druggy recitation of the lyrics.)

    Second is the comment directly above mine.

  34. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    @Captain Wrong: It’s all been a bit confusing to me, to say the least.

  35. @bcapirigi: Morrison wasn’t attractive until he got fat and grew that huge beard.

  36. Clevertrousers  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson: Heh heh… Lester is both the scourge and Patron St. of music journalism… welcome to the club…

  37. Clevertrousers  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson: heheh… ask for more money… in journalism? Now THAT’S funny…

  38. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @NotPop: Way, way ahead of you: [idolator.com]

  39. Clevertrousers  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson:

    …Just because someone is “influential” doesn’t make him interesting or good…

    I think you’re confusing your personal preferences with what makes something interesting. This is a seriously lame argument – by definition if someone was influential (and Morrison most certainly was – hell you couldn’t have had everyone from Iggy Pop to the Cure without him), they were interesting to SOMEONE. Just not you. Which is fine. But stop speaking ex cathedera on the subject, it just seems silly.

  40. Elijah-M  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    You had me, and then you said this: “The worst band of all time. Period. And, yes, I’ve heard CCR.” And I remembered that even clueless idiots are right sometimes.

  41. Clevertrousers  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson: Ah Zappa now THAT would have started a much bigger and funnier fight.

    I still don’t get him, but I know perfectly sane people who think he’s God’s own right nut.

    Best of all, last time I was in the Czech Republic (maybe a year ago), they were STILL playing Zappa on one of the biggest Czech radio stations as fucking POP MUSIC. There’s something seriously dislocating about hearing Frank Zappa sandwhiched between Madonna and Ace of Base.

  42. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    @Clevertrousers: In the context of blogging, a bull of some sort makes a little more sense, no. I spend the majority of my musical time and energy being fair and deliberate about what I do, and I’m sick of the classic rock status quo (see: Pink Floyd), especially showing up in the comments section these days; hence, the post.

    I just don’t give a damn if Band A or singer B is “influential”, frankly, and no amount of name dropping is going to change that fact. Whether my rock crit rhetoric impresses you or anyone else couldn’t matter to me less. The Doors are a horrible band. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

  43. Maura Johnston  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    hey guys, what’s going on in this blog post… oh

  44. I hate The Doors too!

  45. NoNewYork  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    i hate the doors so much. except for yore lost little girl for purely sentimental notagic for small childhood reasons.

  46. Elijah-M  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2008

    My guess? The Idolator people have been talking to the Consumerist people; learning how to generate page views with half-baked negative posts about things that are popular. Good luck with that, guys.

  47. Clevertrousers  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2008

    @Dan Gibson: Heh? YOU’RE sick of the classic rock status quo? Please! How old are you? You missed the worst of it, believe me! But seriously, don’t go around dissing key bands in the rock canon and ignoring their influence and then turn around and try to claim that you “spend the majority of my musical time and energy trying to be fair and deliberate.” Basically you’re just throwing a tantrum against a band you don’t like – that’s fine. But it’s a lame excuse for rock criticism. And the Doors and not a “horrible band” – they’re a decent enough band with some good songs and an oversive reputation that’s easy to deflate due to their pretentiousness. But you can say the same thing for Led Zeppelin, Rush, The Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, The Who, and just about any other brand name rock band you can think of. Get over yourself, kid. You’re not impressing anyone with your tantrum.

  48. Dan Gibson  |   Posted on May 1st, 2008

    @Clevertrousers: Pal, let it go. It’s blogging, not the Arts section of the New York Times. No need to take everything so seriously.

    Secondly, I generally only take pedantic advice from people I’ve actually heard of or know. Just the way I roll.

  49. I cannot lie: I love the Doors. Without them, the opening to Apocalypse Now wouldn’t be as striking, X wouldn’t have found their way to my ears, and the Cult wouldn’t seem as appealing (they are a poor man’s Doors, after all).

    When I die and find myself in hell, I will gladly take “Peace Frog” on eternal loop over anything that Fred Durst has penned.

  50. MrStarhead  |   Posted on May 22nd, 2008

    For the record, I’ve seen Robbie Krieger live (very, very long story), and his son is a Jim Morrison look-alike. The son also, as you might guess, seems deeply, deeply psychologically troubled. Guess if your dad made you dress up as his dead friend for money, it might do that to you, too.

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