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The long trips into the past will continue on next week’s American Idol, when, according to a tipster quoted at MJ’s Big Blog, the top four contestants will sing songs from the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame’s list of 500 Songs That Shaped Rock. On the one hand, ugh; on the other hand, given the Idol producers’ track record of knowing anything about current music, I guess that’s progress, since there are a few songs that were actually recorded in the past 20 years on the list. Anthony and I went through the list and tried to pick out which songs would be most appropriate for each remaining contestant. (Since we don’t have Paula’s psychic abilities, we selected songs for the five singers who are still in the competition as of this very moment.)
David Archuleta
• Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy,” if he feels the need to make a cry for help;
• John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Authority Song,” because seriously, he’s sick of this being-stage-parented-to-death shit; or
• Sonic Youth’s “Teenage Riot,” because no really he needs to get out and hop the first departing freight train now.
Jason Castro
• Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On,” in order to make a sorta-sly reference to this week’s debacle;
• Big Star’s “September Gurls,” because awwww; or
• Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,” because he’s totally into the Sean Kingston song that it samples.
David Cook
• Paul Young’s arrangement of Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” because so few people want to remember they’ve ever heard it that he’ll have no problem claiming it as his own;
• The Doors’ “The End,” because he is edgy, dammit, Lythgoe or no Lythgoe; or
• Mott The Hoople’s “All The Young Dudes,” because it’s almost mathematically impossible to ruin that song, no matter how much reheated post-grunge you ladle on top.
Syesha Mercado
• Jane’s Addiction’s “Been Caught Stealing,” because it would pair well with her recently unearthed saucy side;
• Blondie’s “Heart Of Glass,” so she can show off her falsetto; or
• The Penguins’ “Earth Angel,” so she can reveal her ability to self-harmonize, thus clinching the Idol crown three weeks early.
Brooke White
• Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” to continue the crazy-girl-at-karaoke theme she started last night;
• R.E.M.’s “Losing My Religion,” in a suicide-mission move that will once and for all alienate her from all those right-wing voters who got offended by Carly last week; or
• Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like The Wolf”–but in the style of Bruce Campbell:
500 Songs That Shaped Rock [infoplease.com]
As much as my sensitive ears want David Archuleta to give us a reprieve and perform “Green Onions”, I worry that two and a half minutes of instrumental lip-licking will look awkwardly pornographic.
It’s too bad they didn’t go with this theme last year — I would’ve liked to see what Blake Lewis would do with “Planet Rock.”
More seriously, I have to imagine they’re going to put some songs off-limits. E.g., they can’t go back to the Beatles again, now that the two-week window for the Lennon-McCartney songbook has expired…right?
Even more seriously: assuming he doesn’t get tossed tonight, Castro should do Big Star’s “September Gurls.”
@Chris Molanphy: yeah i’m going to guess that ‘i shot the sheriff’ and ‘legalize it’ will also be off limits.
If this list is really the theme, AI will go and do something weak like narrow it down to 20 songs. It would be really, really cool for the viewers if the contestants actually got to chose from the list of 500 and turned in some great performances. But they don’t actually care about us; they care about ad $$.
I would squeal if Jason or anyone did a Big Star song.
If this list is really the theme, AI will go and do something weak like narrow it down to 20 songs. It would be really, really cool for the viewers if the contestants actually got to chose from the list of 500 and turned in some great performances. But they don’t actually care about us; they care about ad $$.
I would squeal if Jason or anyone did a Big Star song.
This is a pretty good theme! Great songs, open ended and flexible while still pimping SOMETHING…as Simon says it ticks all the boxes.
@Varina: But they don’t actually care about us; they care about ad $$.
They do care about ad $$, true, but the kind of $$ that’s applicable to what we’re discussing here is publishing money, the kind Idol has to shell out to rights-holders when they acquire the rights to cover a song on the show. Those rights aren’t limitless; witness the show’s seven-year effort to get the Beatles’ interests to allow them coverage rights.
My guesses:
Cook = Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, “American Girl”
Archuleta (if his dad picks) = Simon and Garfunkel, “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
Archuleta (if his dad picks after listening to David) = Stevie Wonder, “Superstition”
Castro = The Grateful Dead, “Uncle John’s Band”
Virgin Nanny = Paul McCartney, “Maybe I’m Amazed” (although I would love to hear her do Madonna, “Like a Virgin”)
Syesha = Mary Wells, “My Guy”
Its a shame because there really are a lot of great songs on that list. Still I know that of the 4 that are chosen — 3 will be absolute shit songs.
At least one of them needs to do the Boredoms’ “Acid Police”. And I don’t care if it’s not on the stupid list because it damn well should be.
My guesses:
Archuleta – I think Rory B. Bellows is right about the Simon + Garfunkel.
Castro – Van Morrison, “Brown Eyed Girl”
Cook – The Band, “The Weight”
Mercado – The Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams”
I think it ate my comment, so I’m gonna repost it.
My guesses:
Archuleta – I agree with Rory B. Bellows about S+G.
Castro – Van Morrison, “Brown Eyed Girl”
Cook – The Band, “The Weight”
Mercado – The Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams”
Guess I could have waited a little longer.
Heh, I just found my vinyl copy of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” After Brooke’s performance last night, I think a rendition of “Girls” would send her into full-on manic perma-smile mode. Entertaining maybe, but in a sad way.
It would be totally cool if Jason Castro took on a Talking Heads song and reminded everyone that this, in fact, “ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no clowning arowwwned.”
Also, I personally forbid David Cook to sing “London Calling.” In fact, I shuddered as I typed that. Just saying.