Any list of the best and worst “hair metal” (sigh) bands that has Ratt on the former list and Skid Row on the latter (did dude never hear Slave To The Grind?) automatically seems suspect to me, and the two lists proferred by Yahoo! “list guy” Rob O’Connor–topped by Guns N’ Roses and Poison, respectively–continue to disappoint throughout, although I’m glad that they’re providing post fodder on a slow Friday. Kiss on the best list and Extreme on the worst list? The New York Dolls as a “hair band”? The freaking Scorpions ranked higher than Enuff Z’Nuff, Faster Pussycat, and L.A. Guns? Calling out bands for having lots of rotating members while praising Axl Rose? Rob and I apparently agree on the suckiness of W.A.S.P., but I chalk that up to the theory behind broken clocks being right now and again, too. Full lists after the jump.
THE 25 BEST HAIR METAL BANDS
25) Winger
24) L.A. Guns
23) Queensryche
22) Enuff Z’Nuff
21) Hanoi Rocks
20) Angel
19) Loverboy
18) Faster Pussycat
17) Bon Jovi
16) RATT
15) Quiet Riot
14) Kix
13) Vixen
12) Scorpions
11) Cinderella
10) Twisted Sister
9) Spinal Tap
8) Motley Crue
7) Ozzy Osbourne
6) Kiss
5) Aerosmith
4) Def Leppard
3) New York Dolls
2) Van Halen
1) Guns n’ Roses
THE 25 WORST HAIR METAL BANDS
25) Mr. Big
24) Y&T
23) Bang Tango
22) Shotgun Messiah
21) Lizzy Borden
20) Trixter
19) Danger Danger
18) Autograph
17) Dokken
16) Bulletboys
15) Lita Ford
14) Stryper
13) Great White
12) Slaughter
11) Giuffria
10) White Lion
9) Damn Yankees
8) Warrant
7) Bad English
6) Europe
5) Whitesnake
4) W.A.S.P.
3) Extreme
2) Skid Row
1) Poison
And now, a song better than anything ever put out by the freaking Scorpions. (I’d say “And Ratt, too,” but “Round And Round” owns.)
Yahoo! Names 25 Worst Hair Metal Bands [Sleaze Roxx]
Yahoo! Names 25 Best Hair Metal Bands [Sleaze Roxx]
I think I actually saw Poison, Extreme and Skid Row on the same bill once.
On purpose.
I’m with you: I have had my moments of annoyance with Skid Row, but placing them second on a “worst” list is insane. The best of those debut-album singles are ace, cheesy though they are.
And what are Loverboy doing here?! On the “best” list, no less?
I must have missed the memo where the New York Dolls were finally categorized as hair metal.
@MTS: Yeah, WTF is that. (and to a lesser degree Kiss and Aerosmith)
@brasstax: i can see kiss and aerosmith being lumped into this genre, since both toured with other members of these lists during the hard-rock heyday. loverboy, on the other hand…
Oh, I totally skimmed over Loverboy. Although, “Lovin’ Every Minute of It” sounds like a Pyromania outtake.
people still make lists about ’80s bands? that is SO 2003.
I have albums by the New York Dolls, but the other 49 I missed. Although I do have some albums by The Cult, who started being eligible for one of those lists around the time I stopped listening to them. They seem conspicuous by their absence.
With one or two exceptions the worst list is pretty spot on. Oddly enough I was just thinking about Giuffria the other day!
All else pales in comparison to the mighty (and sadly short-lived) Dokken offshoot Lynch Mob:
They may not be metal, but the Alarm out-haired most of those pansies in their heyday.
Are you suggesting Kiss should be on the worst list? That’s crazy. And where are Kix and Nitro (on the worst?
@Big Gray.: Wait…Kix? Best?
Hell yeah Kix on the best. Why are you shocked?
Those were two outstanding Youtubes! I ran my kids out of the room blasting ‘em, and I’m on headphones…
Poison would be on my number 1 worst list, I think. There are too many “not metal” bands in both lists: Loverboy (Metal? really?), WASP (I always throught these guys were a thrash band, or at least a noise band.), Europe (The Final Countdown, with that big horn synth? Please!), Winger (I guess Journey’s a hair metal band, too, then.) Aerosmith and Damn Yankees are not metal, rather, old-school rock.
Whitesnake in the top 5, maybe. Oh, wait! Top five WORST? Total loss of credibility, there. And when you rank Spinal Tap, who are just RANK, in the good list…
Yahoo! Music is shite.
Wow, there’s a lot to disagree with on both those lists. I was big into hair metal from about 84-89 and to me the best ones were RATT and Van Halen (Warren DeMartini is still an underrated guitar god).
I never got the appeal of most of the later hair bands (Poison, Skid Row, Winger, Warrant, etc). Though hands down KISS’s neon spandex phase was the most embarrassing of all entrants.
Scorpions were awesome until about 1990. Oddly enough, about the same time Metallica started to suck.
I don’t know if I would classify Van Halen pre-Sammy as hair metal. Jeez, That single event killed rock.
Quiet Riot should be #1 on the best list. Metal Health rules.
The Rob O’Connor definition of “hair metal” seems to refer to any rock band whose members have long hair. Either that or he mixed up the “best/worst” labels and instead of correcting his error, he hopes people will think he’s being sarcastic.
Regardless of O’Connor’s gross misunderstanding of his chosen subject matter, the fact that Winger and Stryper are not tied for #’s 1-25 on the Worst list should be punishable by death.
Or spending the remainder of his life as Kip Winger.
If anything, Van Halen got less metal when Sammy joined.
@tigerpop:
Yeah I know I did!
Where the hell is VENOM on this list?????????
Also, what is up with the lack of Britny Fox and Tangier on this list? I specifically remember ripping out photos of both bands from Kerrang and Metal Edge and Hit Parader when I was younger - and gravely upsetting my poor mother in the process.
New York Dolls was glam punk and GNR was more hard rock, although they did have excellent hair.