EMI, the doddering label Coldplay likes to think of as “Grandma“, is being told by its bank, Citi, that it must hit a $350 million earnings target by September if it doesn’t want to face some harsh renegotiations. This new ultimatum was inspired by the label’s predicted inability to make $292 million by June. What do the suits assume will give EMI a third-quarter boost? Coldplay, of course! Coldplay, who are currently attempting to woo audiences with two new videos for “Violet Hill”: One features Chris Martin holding a magnifying glass to his mouth while the band hops around in the desert, while the other features world leaders hopping around.

Watch as Bush, Obama, Clinton, Hussein, Blair and others attempt to dance to a turgid Coldplay song as the world collapses!

Watch as Coldplay attempts to dance to a turgid Coldplay song as their label collapses!

Which one reminds you more of Nero?

Bankers call new tune over EMI finances [Telegraph UK via Hypebot]