The Top Ten Not-Bonos

bonobono.jpgThe social conscience and strident voice of Bono has influenced many a singer over the last few decades. The U2 frontman successfully melded the earnest social conscience of Bruce Springsteen with the self-glorifying pomp of European arena acts, realizing that both the Common Man and King Dick were below Jesus on the food chain. Sure there was precedent, but Sting is handicapped by his ego (and jazz bass), while Ian McCullough wanted to be a romantic poet/sex object more than the messiah. Here are ten singers who, at their best (or worst), have aspired to the Almighty’s throne.

1. Chris Martin (Coldplay)

Will he fail the music industry or will the music industry fail him?

2. Stuart Adamson (Big Country)

Dude thought he could be Bono and The Edge. Rest in peace, Icarus.

3. Brandon Flowers (Killers)

Bono took arena rock from the Boss. Tonight, we’re taking it back!

4. Mike Peters (The Alarm)

National Lampoon made this, right?

5. Jim Kerr (Simple Minds)

Ok, he still makes the top ten. Christ, does he ever.

6. Thom Yorke (Radiohead)

Bravo for all the bleeps’n'creeps that have cloaked the origin of Thom Yorke’s reaching voice and political outspokenness, but you can still see the holy one lurking behind those abstractions. And all those bands that have tried to rip Yorke off wind up aping Bono eventually.

7. Cinjun Tate (Remy Zero)

Once upon a time, kids, someone actually bothered to rip off Pop.

8. Ryan Adams

Damn, Ryan, why didn’t you stick with this? If more people had bought your Bono move, would you have still made 18 albums about Jackson City Nights In Tennessee With Mary Lee or would you have chilled for a year before calling up Eno and Lanois? Who am I kidding, you would have done both.

9. Mike Scott (The Waterboys)

The missing link between Bon-Bon and the Arcade Fire.

10. Win Butler (Arcade Fire)

See?

Ryan Adams: So Alive [The Late Show] [YouTube]
The Alarm - Spirit Of ‘76 [YouTube]
Arcade Fire - Rebellion [YouTube]
Big Country - Where the Rose is Sown [YouTube]
Coldplay - Speed Of Sound [YouTube]
Read My Mind - Killers [YouTube]
Anyone Can Play Guitar [YouTube]
Remy Zero - Save Me [YouTube]
Simple Minds - Alive And Kicking [YouTube]
Waterboys - The Whole Of The Moon [Youtube]

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19 Responses to “The Top Ten Not-Bonos”

  1. by Chris Molanphy at 3:43 am

    Nice.

    For Radiohead, you shoulda posted the “Stop Whispering” video - still their most shameless U2 soundalike:

  2. by Ned Raggett at 5:55 am

    The one-two punch at the end of the list = gold.

  3. by Poubelle at 6:19 am

    Wow. Remy Zero. I don’t think I’ve heard them since…9th grade? Did they ever make anything other than that Smallville song?

  4. by at 6:31 am

    Don’t you dare be messing about with Mike Peters.

  5. by Mick Kraut at 6:49 am

    It is shocking how blatantly Chris Martin is aping Bono in that new iTunes commercial…good song though…

  6. by FionaScrapple at 6:59 am

    God help me, I freaking love that Big Country song.

  7. by at 7:01 am

    God help me, I love Bono. There. I said it. I love love love Bono.

    Okay, I’m crawling back to my hole now……

  8. by at 8:21 am

    @Poubelle: That Villa Elaine album (prior to the Smallville song) is on my Top Whatever Of All Time Albums list.

    LOVED that band.

  9. by Chris N. at 8:29 am

    There are many Bono-lovers among us, my child, even if at the moment it’s the love that dare not speak its name. Someday you will be able to hold your head high.

  10. by punkybunky at 8:59 am

    Does Brandon Flowers really count if he’s ripping off a guy (Springsteen) who inspired Bono?

    This reminds me of an MTV article from last year that pondered who would takeover U2’s “throne” of social-consciousness: Green Day, NIN, & Linkin Park(?!). They must’ve picked Linkin Park only because they had a U2 rip-off song out at the time

    @Mick Kraut: The whole commercial is a carbon-copy of U2’s “Vertigo” comm., only with more colors.

  11. by at 9:06 am

    I like everyone on this list. Okay, so I only really know the one song by Big Country, but still. Do I secretly love Bono?
    Go ahead and hate me now.

  12. by BigRicks at 9:51 am

    It’s funny. I’ve listened to Rock N Roll a hundred times, and I’ve never picked up on the Bono comparison in “So Alive” until I saw the comparison being made and heard it alongside all of these other tunes.

  13. by valerie at 1:51 am

    Jesus, it’s like you hacked into my teenage brain. Embarassing. I can’t help it.

  14. by uncleezno at 3:53 am

    @Chris Molanphy: C’mon, that song was off of Pablo Honey, their first album, and it was released over 15 years ago. On top of that, it was a song of theirs for about two years before it was released, when the band was known as “On A Friday”. I don’t think anyone holds Radiohead to PH any more than they hold REM to, say, every album since Automatic for the People.

  15. by at 8:56 am

    Shouldn’t Scott Stapp get an honorable mention?

  16. by bcapirigi at 9:30 am

    remy zero’s prophecy, which was on one of those terrible-but-somehow-very-meaningful-at-the-time cmj compilations that dan mentioned the other day, is still a really good song. i’m guessing from november of ‘98, with rob zombie on the cover.

  17. by Lieutenant 030 at 9:53 am

    There was a time when being like Bono or U2 wasn’t so terrible, but that was when U2 was still good and Bono not annoying. So Big Country was great (The Crossing was the bigger hit, I think, but Steeltown was damn near perfect), and Steve Lillywhite probably had a lot to do with any sonic similarities to U2. Lillywhite also, IIRC, produced Simple Minds’ first big leap into mainstream bombast, but Sparkle in the Rain was actually good. The next album, the one with “Alive and Kicking,” was where they lost me.

  18. by Poubelle at 12:29 pm

    @owenmeany: Hmm. I might see if I can find it (I did enjoy “Save Me,” but I only had it on the Talon Mix soundtrack, which also including the Flaming Lips and the only Weezer song I’ve ever truly loved).

  19. by prolixrush at 10:08 am

    Why isn’t Ryan Adams playing guitar in that Late Show clip? Bizarre. Also, man, did he look smokin-ass hot with more meat on his bones.

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