A group of soldiers in an Army barrack excitedly watch G-Unit’s “I Like The Way She Do It” on TV until they hear footsteps and hurry back to their beds and stand at attention. Soon comes Captain 50 Cent, his hat tilted sideways. The Cap’n pumps his fist, surveys his recruits and gives the camera a mincing “grrr!” before announcing “Wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo! Wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo! I done told ya boy, I’m a soldier boy! I got no choice but to be a rider! I approach you, boy, with the toaster, boy! Get to point blank range and fire!” How is he not holding a riding crop during this? To paraphrase Four Four, I wasn’t looking for gay in the video for G-Unit’s “Rider, Pt. 2,” but gay found me and snapped me on the ass with a wet towel. [OnSmash via Nah Right]