Hard Rock Park, Myrtle Beach’s own amusement-park tribute to the sound of rock and roll, officially opened yesterday. This was a little confusing to me–I could have sworn it had opened already. Then again, until you have an Eagles concert to celebrate something, does it really happen?

So many aspects of the park seem like an ironic joke, but I like to think them as crucial to the experience of the first meta-amusement park. What could possibly be the least appropriate snippet of music to have playing at an entrance to any amusement park? An endless loop of the “Here we are now, entertain us” section of “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” you say? Bingo!

According to Chicago Sun-Times travel reporter David Hoekstra, Moody Blue Justin Hayward thought the “Nights In White Satin” ride was a delight.

I liked it very much,” he said. “Its kind of psychedelic but it’s not my idea of the story of the song. But then my idea would be very dull and a bit X-rated and wouldn’t belong in a family park. I only say that because I was 19 when I wrote it. I also like the fact that every day they seem to be tweaking and changing it. I know if I come back in two weeks I would see something slightly different.

If that wasn’t enough to draw you in, Hard Rock Park has signed a new set of mascots.

The Banana Splits, who you will remember from their popular Saturday morning television show, Banana Splits Adventure Hour, are now ambassadors for the park.

The announcement of The Banana Splits joining the Hard Rock Park family came during a kids mini golf tournament….

The Banana Splits join Hard Rock Park’s original characters, The Bear Metal family and Winston the Punk Bulldog as ambassadors for the park.

Poor Winston the Punk Bulldog! He never had his moment in the sun, and now those pesky pop-music-playing primates take over the spotlight. The injustice.

Rock n’ Roll Amusement Park [Chicago Sun-Times]
Hard Rock grand opening events [SC Now]