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Mark Wahlberg has squelched the hopes of dozens by revealing that he will not drop trou, flick his superfluous nipple, and rejoin his brethren in the Funky Bunch, despite the reunion of both that legendary ensemble and his brother Donnie’s own esteemed act, New Kids On The Block. “They asked me if I would partake and I had to decline,” he told MTV. “Part of me would love to run around and act like a fucking asshole again but I can’t do that. I’ve got two kids. I saw something on VH1 or something about me in the ’90s and I thought, oh my God, how am I going to explain this to my kids? I have a few years to think about how to finesse it but I do think about it on a daily basis.” Strong words for a man whose upcoming movie has him running from lethal tree farts (I am so psyched to see this on Friday. I just know it’s going to be the laugh riot of the summer.)
“Hip-hop is a young man’s game?” Aw, come on. You’re younger than Ghostface, you’re younger than Jay-Z. LL Cool J’s still ripping his shirt off in public. Granted, you have an Oscar nomination, but I think you could still bust out some hot rhymes if you put some effort into it.
If you decide to stick with your thespian career, please keep making movies where you get to bully people. The Departed, I Heart Huckabees, Three Kings, Fear, Four Brothers, all your best movies have you giving people shit. Let someone else play the nice guy. Especially if it’s the nice guy in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
Mark Wahlberg Passes On Funky Bunch Reunion. ‘Not A F–ing Chance,’ He Laughs [MTV]
Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) at Claim to Fame [YouTube]
In hip hop, Marky, you get to smoke trees, not get smoked by them. You can get with this, as Black Sheep once said, or you can get with that.
‘Lethal Tree Farts’ should have been a tag for this.
Please, don’t encourage any early ’90’s white rappers to return. Save for Everlast with La Coka Nostra. As much as I loved 3rd Bass, Serch and P.M. Pete Nice should stay retired.
@imnotthatguyanymore: I almost misread that last bit as “P.M. Dawn.” Come to think of it, maybe they should reunite–Arrested Development is still touring, after all.
And thanks for bringing up Everlast–now I’m amply prepared for his sure to be fucking brilliant cover of “Folsom Prison Blues.” No, really, thanks a lot.
So I guess this means that Mark’s not in favor the New Kids reunion?
If he’s worried about how he’s gonna explain Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch to his kids, how will he explain wearing a prosthetic wang in “Boogie Nights”?
Methinks that The Funky Bunch will be easier to explain.
@imnotthatguyanymore:
Werd