Let’s say you’re a talented musician in a city like Nashville that seems to be flooded with them. Finding a label to sign on to your artistic vision can be difficult, if not impossible. Why not play the upcoming bull semen salesperson convention?

Nashville is a major destination for conventions, and those rowdy conventioneers want to get a taste of that Nashville sound, which means that musicians you’ve likely never heard of playing songs you undoubtedly have heard a thousand times can rake in the dough–and make conventioneers have a rip-roaring good time.

“I get Mike from sales up on stage to sing `Mony Mony.’ That’s a home run,” says Gary Jenkins, 42, who with his band has been performing for conventions for 20 years and does a minimum of one corporate show a week.

He once entertained for a convention of bull semen salesmen.

“They had a real sense of humor about what they did, and they were ready to have a good time,” Jenkins recalled. “It was like a rowdy frat party.”

A few years ago, fiddler Tim Watson worked out a special song while performing with Tammy Wynette for GMC truck dealers.

“Instead of her `Stand by Your Man,’ we did `Stand by Your Van,’” Watson recalled of the late singer’s classic hit. On cue, corporate officials rolled out a van on the stage at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry House.

The idea of a van rolling out on the Grand Ole Opry stage is charming on so many levels, but hey, you gotta make a buck, and touring’s certainly not the best way to do so in the era of $4-a-gallon gas. Still, even if you don’t have to travel far to play local conventions, there are still troubles that present themselves.

…Jenkins chooses his music carefully.

“I’ve had shows with a lot of Amish there. I try to ask questions beforehand and be sensitive.

“Tomorrow night we play for 2,100 high school principals. If we do a Dave Matthews song, it would clear the dance floor.”

I don’t think it’s just high school principals. “Ants Marching” will clear the dance floor pretty much anywhere.

Conventions big business for Nashville entertainers [San Francisco Chronicle]