Idolator
Fuse and the Boston Phoenix have coincidentally come up with similar ways to celebrate Independence Day. The Phoenix has named the best band, best solo artist, and best new band from each of the 50 United States, while Fuse is having viewers decide which of two modern acts should represent each state for an All-American Face-Off. The Phoenix is going for bands that exemplify both the "all-time greatest" and ultrahip, so their choices rarely coincide with Fuse's. For instance, while the Boston alt-weekly praises Alabama's Hank Williams, Louvin Brothers, and Wild Sweet Orange, Fuse sticks with Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks. What about Massachussetts' own The Pixies and Jonathan Richman, Fuse? No thanks, they've got Rob Zombie and Staind. But there are a few cases where the two sides agree on the best artists (if not always said artists' home states), and we'd like to celebrate those moments of consensus.
INDIANA: Michael Jackson
The Phoenix's choice for All-Time Best Solo Artist from Indiana (who shares the title for All-Time Best Band with Tito, Jermaine, and the rest of the Jackson 5) is competing with sister Janet for the Best Of Indiana crown on Fuse. I think he might win!
MAINE: Rustic Overtones
Yes, neither the Phoenix nor Fuse could think of a better band to come out of Maine then the men of Rustic Overtones. It's a different case when it comes to solo artists, though, as the network is pitting Howie Day against the unheralded jam band while the Phoenix gives All-Time Best Solo Artist from Maine to Juliana Hatfield, even though she moved to the suburbs of Boston as a child. God, Maine. You really must suck.
MINNESOTA: Prince / The Replacements
The Phoenix is asking its readers to decide between Prince or Bob Dylan as the winner of Minnesota's All-Time Solo Artist crown (Fuse would obviously go with Prince), but the Replacements get unconditional love from both media outlets. Sorry, Husker Du, Soul Asylum, Babes In Toyland, and Information Society.
OREGON / MONTANA: Colin Meloy and his Decemberists
The Decemberists are competing for Fuse's love against Elliott Smith in the Oregon bout. Even if he loses, Colin can console himself with being the Phoenix's All-Time Best Solo Artist from Montana. Fuse's own Montana challenge is a face-off between Hana Pestle and Bruce Fairweather, who is represented by a photo of Mother Love Bone.
OREGON / NEBRASKA: Elliott Smith
Fuse's Oregon nominee is the Boston alt-weekly's All-Time Best Solo Artist from Nebraska. Does this mean Conor Oberst was denied?
NEBRASKA: Bright Eyes
Of course not, silly. Bright Eyes is the All-Time Best Band from Nebraska. Fuse and the Phoenix would also like to respectively give it up for 311 and Tilly and the Wall. Poor Nebraska.
NEW HAMPSHIRE: Aerosmith
According to Fuse, the only competition Aerosmith has for All-Time Best Band from New Hampshire is Godsmack. Sounds like an easy win.
NEW MEXICO: The Shins
Hey! Turns out New Mexico sucks too. And that everyone sure seems to agree on the glory of schmindie.
NORTH DAKOTA: Peggy Lee
According to Fuse, the only person from North Dakota to release music since Miss Lee is Bobby Vee (hey, that rhymes!). The Boston Phoenix, however, has love for The Pink Slips and Vaz.
OKLAHOMA: The Flaming Lips
Okie noodlers!
OHIO / PENNSYLVANIA: Trent Reznor and his Nine Inch Nails
Nine Inch Nails is competing against Hawthorne Heights in Ohio on Fuse's poll, but the Boston Phoenix thinks Trent's the Best All-Time Solo Artist from Pennsylvania. But Bright Eyes is a band. Right. I guess Eve and Teddy Pendergrass can eat a dick.
SOUTH CAROLINA: Iron And Wine
South Carolina bands haven't done better than schmindie either.
WASHINGTON: Nirvana
Seattle shocker!
For reasons unknown, Vermont was left off of Fuse's list, so let's wrap this up with what would have undoubtedly won, the Phoenix's All-Time Best Band from the state... Phish.
50 States [Boston Phoenix]
All-American Face-Off [Fuse]
Michael Jackson Grammys '88-Way You Make Me Feel & MITM [YouTube]
Rustic Overtones - Letter To The President [YouTube]
The Replacements - 1981 - "Goddamn Job & Junior's Got A Gun" [YouTube]
Colin Meloy - We Both Go Down Together [YouTube]
Elliott Smith - Miss Misery [YouTube]
Bright Eyes - Lua [YouTube]
Aerosmith - Rag Doll [YouTube]
Shins - Phantom Limb [YouTube]
Nine Inch Nails - Down In It (Live) [YouTube]
Iron And Wine - Naked As We Came [YouTube]
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit [YouTube]
Phish - You Enjoy Myself w/ trampolines - 2.18.03 - Denver [YouTube]
Comments
I realise Rustic Overtones are there because they're the only band ever to come out of Maine alive, but I am rather partial to As Fast As, the band formed by their keyboardist Spencer Albee.
Maine has Visitations on Time-Lag. Admittedly I'm one of their handful of fans.
Sorry, Husker Du, Soul Asylum, Babes In Toyland, and Information Society.
Or Lifter Puller, for that matter, who left such an indelible mark that there's probably as many people in the Twin Cities who claim the Hold Steady as there are in Brooklyn.
And Prince gets best solo artist in my book -- it's a tough decision based on music, so it mostly comes down to the fact that he never pretended not to be from Minneapolis.
Also, Jerry Lee Lewis over Louis Armstrong as Louisiana's best solo artist? No, no, no, no, wrong.
godheadSilo (from North Dakota) was robbed.
I looked up "schmindie" in the dictionary since I never heard it before and lo and behold there was a picture of Sam Beam's lame-ass, bearded self.
If it was that important that the Phoenix include both James Brown (no arguments here!) AND Iron & Wine, wouldn't they have appeared at least a little more credible if they said Iron & Wine was the best solo artist and James Brown and the Famous Flames was the best band?
do cerberus shoal count for maine?
also, fuse: as someone who has spent 26/27ths of his life in rhode island listening to music all the damn time, WHO THE HELL are the invite and johnny lingo?
Phoenix's picks for Maryland aren't bad (John Fahey, The Orioles and our pals Wye Oak), but Fuse's pick of The Bravery (vs. Good Charlotte) is really bizarre. I've never heard of The Bravery having any Maryland roots, and as far as I can tell from their Wikipedia entry, the only thing close to a MD connection is that two members went to Georgetown University (in Washington, D.C., not Maryland) before forming the band in New York.
@The Phoenix, Yeah, I guess I can see the Impossible Shapes as Indiana's best new band, if by new you mean band that has been around for 10+ years and has released six or so albums.
@Fuse, thanks for perpetuating the Indiana = land of the Jacksons stereotype.
@both, thanks for ignoring the Coug. (Mellencamp, to you non-Hoosiers.)
@Captain Wrong: Well, I noticed Indiana did better than Hawaii on the Fuse. Hmm...Jack Johnson or the Pussycat Dolls? Cold shit or warm shit?
Beyonce v. Kelly Clarkson for Texas? Really, Fuse? There isn't some bonehead around your office who's really into Spoon, at least?
I agree with bcapirigi. Were those the only two bands Fuse could think of for Rhode Island? Unlike bcapirigi, i've lived here all my life and i've (also) never heard of The Invite (Johnny Lingo I barely remember as a nominee from one of those Pheonix Best Music Polls). I can think of a handful of Rhode Island acts who are more well known then either of them (Lightning Bolt, Les Savy Fav, Black Dice, Throwing Muses, Talking Heads [you HAVE heard of them, Fuse?] - hell, I would've been happy if they picked John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band).
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