Idolator

Today's USA Today has a big piece on rock merch, talking about how $55 concert T-shirts are purchased by people who are "style-conscious and socially conscious" (oddly, the word "suckers" is not used), how being sold at Target hasn't hurt the alleged cool factor of Beatles and Rolling Stones shirts, and how the ever-annoying Katy Perry designed her merch in such a way that's inspired by (her apparent non-reading of) Lolita and "fruit motifs, especially strawberries and cherries." (Because eating them is, like, just like kissing a girl... plant!) It even finds some poor sucker to trot out the already-old-and-reliable "you can't download a T-shirt" notion! But perhaps the best part of the story is Edna Gudnersen's guide to "t-shirt etiquette," which seems to have been taken out of some sort of sidebar storage unit that was last replenished in 2004.

- It's geeky to wear a T-shirt you just bought at the concert you're attending. Besides, your mother would want you to wash it first.

This would seem to be Gundersen's reinterpretation of the "Don't be that guy" rule from PCU, in which Jeremy Piven's character chastises, "What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy." Only with laundry. And Mom. Not cool, dude.

- If you must wear a Metallica T-shirt at a Metallica concert, make sure it's from three or four tours back.

Not only does this break the aforementioned "don't be that guy" rule, it also creates the false caste system that people who actually went to see Metallica in 2003 are somehow better than "newer" fans.

- Unless you're 8, a High School Musical T-shirt will draw snickers. However, a Schoolhouse Rock! shirt is kitschy.

But if you wear it to a Blind Melon show, are you "that guy"?

I guess it depends on whether post-Shannon Hoon death Blind Melon is a different band. (Let the arguing commence!)

A Nirvana T-shirt at a Foo Fighters concert is too obvious; Melvins, maybe. A Screaming Trees shirt at a Queens of the Stone Age concert or a Green Jello shirt at a Tool show will reveal you as a fan with roots.

I wholly disagree with this idea, because it violates a corollary of the "don't be that guy" rule that I like to term as "don't be that person who is trying to have 'cred,' even though the shirt bestowing such was probably purchased at Hot Topic anyway."

- Don't wear a Woodstock or Live Aid T-shirt unless you actually attended.

- Even if you were there, don't wear a Woodstock '99 T-shirt. Why admit it?

Because comedy = tragedy + time? Hey, it's been nine years. (Really, when was this thing written?)

- Never wear a Gary Glitter T-shirt. If you don't know why, look it up.

OK, this is probably good advice. Although I did hear "Rock & Roll Pt. 2" at a sporting event recently, so who knows, his ironic rehabilitation could be just around the bend...

Concert tour T-shirts crank up the style [USA Today]