Online Petitioners Still Haven’t Found What They’re Looking For

bono26.jpgIf you dislike Bono, it’s probably for one or more of the following reasons: 1) he writes epic, yet somehow quite boring music; 2) that heinous iPod commercial; 3) he (allegedly) misrepresents Africa in his (allegedly) misguided attempts at AIDS relief. If you subscribe to the latter, there’s now an online petition pledging “a ton of money to fight AIDS” if–and only if–Bono retires from public life.

OBJECTIVE
To get Bono to retire from public life (so he’ll stop leading misguided counter-productive philanthropy efforts) ….and, simultaneously…. to make a huge donation to fight AIDS

MEMBER PLEDGE
We will give money to: Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria
But we will only pay if we meet our objective

THE PITCH

Bono’s philanthropy efforts are self-righteous, ineffective, & counter-productive.

The RED campaign has managed to spend $40 million more on marketing that it has raised from RED product sales, while sending consumers a dangerous message.

Many involved in the global fight against AIDS worry that RED will make it harder to raise funds, and that the oversimplified & disempowered image of Africa that Bono perpetuates. , as exemplified in these incredibly condescending lyrics from the Band Aid Xmas song Bono helped create, obscures and undermines the assets African nations must focus on to defeat AIDS and poverty.

The grassroots leaders of the global fight against AIDS didn’t ask for Bono to be their frontman. Its time for Bono to step down. We’ll all pledge donations to the Global Fund, but no pledges are collected until Bono retires from public life. If he wants to moan bland melodies he’ll have to do it quietly in his bedroom. If he want to fight AIDS he can make a direct donation instead of buying a sweatshop GAP T-shirt. As the pledges grow, Bono will have to decide what matters more, fighting AIDS effectively, or him being the movement’s frontman.

Like every petition that has ever squeaked onto the Internet with a false and very inflated sense of self-importance, this will fail, not only because online petitions are inherently useless, but also because Bono is in the Oprah league of celebrity. He lives in a fortress on a private island constructed of $1000 bills and decoupaged with Vanity Fair covers. So I doubt the $595 raised in he week after the petition was launched will move him to stop leading costly aid campaigns with The Gap, or writing ill-informed charity singles. Nice try, though.

Bono: Retire From Public Life And We’ll Donate A Ton Of Money To Fight AIDS [The Point]

 
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  1. spazandmojo  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    it frustrates a lot of activists who have been actively working to
    make progress on this epidemic since day one that such a self-important
    twat would annoint himself the king of such a cause. he offers very
    little concrete solution to the problems, etc. i can understand the
    aggravation and the need for this petition, but yes, sadly, it will
    fail.

  2. SomeSound-MostlyFury  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    Wow, that post was unduly condescending.

  3. revmatty  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    Oh, I don’t know: I think it the level of condescension was just about what was due.

    Bono: worthless egotist who nevertheless does cause a lot of frat-tards who love U2 to spend 1/8 of a second thinking about something other than their own penis.

  4. SomeSound-MostlyFury  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @revmatty: and then waste their 1/8 of a second buying an overpriced (RED)phone or other product, the markup of which goes almost entirely back into a marketing spin cycle which spends most of its time promoting…wait, you guessed it, BONO!

    Well-intentioned internet petitions that, while proving somewhat misguided and ultimately fruitless in their overall goal, will at least get blog links and cause people to maybe momentarily reconsider their blind faith in a preening dickwad who thinks he’s the Messiah: harmless.

    Bono, promoting shit that only serves to improve his public image and nothing else, while actually taking charity money and notoriety away from aid efforts that actually know what they are doing and how to go about it: harmful.

    Yet we mock and deride the petitioner instead.

  5. Maura Johnston  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @SomeSound-MostlyFury: What does an Internet petition do aside from promote the public image of whoever entered it into whatever petition content-management system they’re using? Has one ever, EVER effected real change?

  6. Anonymous  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    The second any of you assholes get up and do something to help people dying of AIDS, that’s when you can mock Bono. But as far as I can tell, none of you are doing anything to help anyone other than yourselves.

    He may be a twat, but he’s done a lot more than you’re giving him credit for. I may hate his pretentiousness and self-importance, but what I hate a lot more is when people who haven’t done shit to make the world a better place stand around making fun of someone who, whatever his flaws, is at least trying to do the right thing.

  7. SomeSound-MostlyFury  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @Maura Johnston: Of course not. But that was never my point. The guy/girl/group is trying to do something they feel is a positive step towards solving a problem (barring an attempt to make off with the $595 they raised). I guess my point was: who are we to stand off to the side and ridicule them because they don’t have the know-how or resources to make that step effectively. At least they’ve dug up some righteous anger.

  8. SomeSound-MostlyFury  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @slowburn: As far as you can tell? Did you ask anyone? Or are you just making assumptions from up on your high horse?

  9. NeverEnough  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    I wonder if this group has seen “Team America: World Police”: [www.weallhaveaids.com]

  10. Chris N.  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    How dare he use his fame to help people?

  11. stix  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    That petition would be way more awesome if it was intended to be funny.

    I don’t need to be reminded about how much of a flaming douche Bono is unless there’s some entertainment value in it.

  12. GhostOfDuane  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @Maura Johnston: Yeah, the petitions from the Crazy Ass Families Against Companies That Support the Homo-Gay Agenda, or whatever the hell they’re called. McDonalds is still alive and kicking, but I believe they got Ford to issue some sort of apology.

  13. Anonymous  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @SomeSound-MostlyFury: If you are actually out there trying to help people with that attitude, then God help the people who you’re helping.

    @Chris N.: Exactly. Get off it, folks.

  14. spazandmojo  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @slowburn: @Chris N.:
    how about, how dare people only give a shit about an epidemic when a
    celebrity applies their face to it. where is the endless adoration for
    activists/caregivers actually tending to those sick in hospitals since
    the first cases? where is the adoration for the endless work unnamed
    faces have done for the cause of rights of patients and education of
    masses and had to stop do to the stress of its grim reality?

    this should be a call to the end of all celebrity co-opted activist
    bullshit which is nothing more than a thinly veiled publicity stunt to
    elevate their own sense of worth. you never saw diamanda, who created
    the most powerful musical artistic statement on AIDS checking the press
    for photo ops and foolish marketing campaigns for tshirts to be sold in
    those abominations of clothing stores called the Gap.

    and just for the record… i was in ACT UP and Queer Nation, and counseled AIDS patients.

  15. spazandmojo  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    @spazandmojo: due, rather…

  16. Anonymous  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    Yes, online petitions are useless. Good thing this isn’t a petition.

    This is a “carrot” campaign — people are pledging real money (they enter their credit cards when they join). The credit cards will only be charged if Bono agrees to retire. So there is real power behind those “signatures” — we’re not just talking about faceless, unaccountable web dwellers.

    If this campaign fails (and it’s impossible to imagine any other outcome) it will fail due to the second point — Bono is a megastar and there isn’t enough demand for him to retire. In that case, it will fail for the right reason, not from a flaw in the tool.

  17. Chris N.  |   Posted on Aug 1st, 2008

    You’re not going to change celebrity culture. So what’s so awful if a celebrity within that culture exploits its nature for a good cause?

    I’ve never understood why this pains people so much. If he just used his fame to get free drugs and bang groupies three at a time, no one would be bothered. Let him try to get the rest of the world to pay attention to an entire continent that’s dying and suddenly he’s an asshole.

  18. Elmo Keep  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2008

    If you’re lucky he’ll write in to the comments section with a weird, meandering missive like he did at Rollingstone.com:

    [www.rollingstone.com]

    I think we can surmise from this that Bono likes to get drunk and Google himself. See what I did there?

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